It's A Stegosaurus World

2012-01-21T21:45:00.001-05:00

Bonjour, Je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!

Lexovissaurus et moi, nous avons passé des belles fêtes de Noël et comme prévu je suis maintenant à L’Université d’Oxford, en Angleterre. Je suis sur le chemin d’obtenir ma maîtrise d’archéologie. Je suis très curieuse et je me suis toujours demandé comment nous avons disparu. Donc je vais me spécialiser dans la théorie d’extinction massive! J’ai le support total de mon cher mari, qui n’est plus en France, il est parti à grands pas, sans détours, au Mexique, où il espère de diner sur des Cycas et du fromage.

Quant à mes impressions d’Angleterre, je crois que Frédéric Chopin avait raison. Un français qui parle à un Anglais et vise versa est comme un cochon qui parle à un canard. Étant fière de ma langue natale, je ne suis pas enthousiaste à apprendre l’Anglais, mais se serrait utile pour être capable de vivre ici dans un collège Anglais. Lorsque je me suis enrôlée, je me suis inscrite dans un cours d’Anglais ... mais ne vous inquiéter pas. Je vais toujours parler le Français ici parce que je suis très fière de mes racines. Je vais aussi prendre des cours préparatoires d’évolution mammifère (humain). Ce ne sera pas un grand défi; je me rappelle de leur parenté la plus proche, les Dimétrodons, parce que j’ai vu le tout en temps réel.

Je suppose que le collège sera une intéressante expérience. L’habilité du cerveau Stegosaurids est largement sous-estimer, parce qu’il est la grosseur d’une noix. Mais je suis prêt pour la tache! Déterminer de résoudre une fois pour toutes le mystère de l’extinction!

2011-12-24T12:26:00.003-05:00

"There's no rest for the jolly, not on the most important night of the year for Stegosaurus Claus!" declared Stegosaurus Claus.

"Here I am stomping forthrightly around the World! I've left my cozy little workshop in Brazil to deliver toys to all the good little girls and boys of the World.

Yes, the entire World! I should hope no one questions my ability to accomplish this seemingly impossible deed, as it would show a great lack of faith in miracles. How can you not believe in Stegosaurus Claus, yet spend time reading the blog of a singing, dancing, walking, talking Stegosaurus?

In truth, Virginia, there Is a Stegosaurus Claus, and I am he! If I cross paths with Santa Claus tonight I'll tell him you said hi!"

"I will take some time to drink milk and eat cookies. Also, Christmas Trees. Sorry about the Christmas Tree part. They're delicious. I'll make up for it -- Promise. I ate the pear trees too. All twelve of them. The partridges flew away. I wish I could fly like they do! Do you know what else I will take time for? Eating fruitcake ! I have a lot of respect for fruitcake because some of it is older than I am."

"I sincerely hope your holidays have been a delight. Keep being good, and get a good night's rest. I don't want to have to pass your house by!

"If I can give you any good parting advice it is this : View the world as if you were a baby just out of the shell. Be an example of peace and good will to all, and you'll be sure to have me in your heart, even if you can't see me as I stomp by! "

2011-11-28T23:55:00.003-05:00

"I was back home in Colorado on Thanksgiving break from college when it so happened that I was visited by my friend Archaeopteryx. Readers of my blog know how much I love birdwatching, so you know how highly I think of Archaeopteryx as a friend." said Stegosaurus.

"It was about a year ago, you know that the news came from the paleontologists that Archaeopteryx would no longer be flying, a prospect that made us both sad, because formerly Archaeopteryx was one of the most majestic of flyers."

"How are you feeling, Archaeopteryx? I was just about to settle down to a nice meal of ferns, but I always have time for my friends. Thank you for visiting me." said Stegosaurus to his friend.

"Oh, I'm still pretty upset about the whole situation," admitted Archaeopteryx in a resigned, rather glum tone. "But I didn't come to you to complain. I just wanted to stop by and visit for a while."

"Well," said Stegosaurus. "If you really don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. But I want you to know that I can tell you are feeling out of sorts; I have a keen eye for this, having watched you on my birdwatching excursions for so many years. I'm not really doing much worthy of note myself, and I am much more interested in your welfare since the news broke that the paleontologists were grounding you. I feel bad about it. I hate to see a good dinosaur down."

Archaeopteryx sighed. "Thank you my friend. I used to soar with the pterosaurus; the only dinosaur with feathers pointing the way to the future of evolution. I used to feel so cutting edge, and now I'm forced to devolve, in effect.. Who are these paleontologists? Why do they have such an undue influence in our lives? If I were really truly bitter I'd ask you to stomp on them all forthrightly because now I'm lucky if I can hop from tree to tree!"

"They are mammals, and they put themselves in charge of all this, but it is the proper order of things," said Stegosaurus. "Sometimes I think about that myself, but I'm usually distracted by things like these ferns... or sometimes just the fact that I realize that my brain is only the size of a walnut, and I resolve not to take up limited space questioning why things are. I leave the questioning to mammals and other animals with larger brains and spend my time enjoying my trees."

Archaeopteryx sighed again. "An enviable attitude. I wish I could just be indifferent but I remember so well what it was like to fly!"

"Keep your beak up, Archaeopteryx; you're still the oldest dinosaur discovered with feathers .. be glad of that; I wish I had feathers. I've never yet been discovered with feathers. You're lucky. It really is all about perspective. Life is all about perspective."

"Your wisdom is sound, Stegosaurus. Thank you." said Archaeopteryx. "I have been feeling better since I went into therapy for my depression over being grounded. I want you to know that and thank you for being such a loyal friend. "

"I'm glad to hear it." said Stegosaurus. "Very glad indeed. Take care of yourself. Perhaps you will fly again. Who knows? But what ever paleontology thinks, I like you just the way you are."

Prehistoric Birds Were Poor Flyers, Research Shows

2011-11-08T19:55:00.000-05:00

A New Kind Of Raptor

Canadian Dinosaur Feathers In Amber

Mastodon Murder Solved!

Ancient Spotted Horses' History Told In Cave Art

2011-10-09T19:16:00.001-04:00

Bonjour, je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!

Bientôt, je vais célébrer mon premier anniversaire de mariage!! Je suis très heureuse d’être l’épouse de Lexovissaurus! Nous passons de merveilleux moments ensemble à l’opéra, en mangeant du fromage, en marchant le long de la Seine ...

Et pourtant, j’ai réalisé qu’il n’y a pas que le nettoyage de la caverne et comment savoir entrer dans une salle pleine de porcelaine quand l’on a une superbe queue pointue. Je suppose que si le cousin de Lexovissaurus, Stegosaurus peut entrer à l’université, moi aussi je le peux.

J’ai pensé et pensé à propos de ce que je devrais faire. J’avais faim et je suis allé manger des fougères et du fromage. Et puis, j’ai pensé encore. Finalement la solution m’ai venu à l’idée. J’étais toujours curieuse pourquoi j’étais devenu éteint et maintenant c’est le temps de le savoir! Je vais entrer à l’université et étudier la science! Je vais me spécialiser en théorie de masse extinction et je vais devenir un archéologue!

Donc, j’ai entré en piétinent pour expliquer à mon cher époux mon plan. Il m’a dit que si c’était lui il ferait confiance aux théories de mammifère de changement du climat et des chutes de météorites parce qu’ils ont de plus gros cerveaux, et me dit de relaxer et de manger du fromage.

"Mais, " avec affection il ajouta "Si c’est vraiment ton ambition ma chère, tu as mon appui!"

Et ça c’est mon époux! Je suis très fier de lui. Après un bon repas de fromage et des rosiers au Jardin des Tuileries, nous avons décidé qu’après les vacances de Noël je devrais entrer en piétinent pour m’enrôler dans des classes à l’École d’Archéologie à l’université d’Oxford, en Angleterre. Il est un époux progressif et un novateur. Il a toujours soutenue les ambitions des dinosaures femelles à l’extérieure de la caverne! Je suis très chanceuse de l’avoir comme époux!

Lundi prochain je vais commencer ma mission de recherche pour voir quelle sorte d’aide que je peux recevoir de l’Association des Dames de la Science International ou du Fond de Développement UN pour les femmes! Peut-être je peux recevoir une subvention!

2011-09-20T16:00:00.000-04:00

Stegosaurus held a press conference in Michigan today in order to express his feelings about the passing of Dolores Hope. The grieving Ornithischian Stegosaurus-Stenops released this statement.

"I had just stomped from Canada and was back in Michigan looking for another meal of sassafras albidum when one of my classmates told me the news that my wonderful friend Dolores Hope had become extinct at her home in Toluca Lake, California. She was only 102! It is a pity that a mammal as vibrant, generous, and philanthropic as Mrs. Hope was could not live longer. May we all live our lives in such a way as to honor the spirit of this fine woman, and her equally munificent husband. They both were friends of mine, and I will miss them for millions of years."

Dolores Hope, Widow of Bob Hope, Dies At Home, Age 102

2011-09-18T22:46:00.003-04:00

"Summer is nearly at an end, and as Fall approaches, so does another semester of college!" declared Stegosaurus. "It started last week, and I am so excited! As soon as I could I stomped forthrightly to meet my class in Michigan, where we all got together and identified some delicious thickets of sassafras albidum.

Afterward it was only a short stomp into Canada, where we found some delectable Prunus pensylvanica. We were about a month late for the cherry season, but the leaves and bark served as a wonderful treat. While there I had hoped to visit my Canadian friend Styracosaurus in Alberta, but he was not home, having stomped elsewhere to hear a Wooly Mammoth sermon in Nova Scotia.

Before we left Canada though we had an opportunity to eat a nice meal of Amelanchier alnifolia. It's great being back in class again. I love learning and spending time with my classmates."

2011-08-21T10:42:00.003-04:00

"I received communication from my cousin Kentrosaurus in the last couple of weeks," said Stegosaurus. "He says, ' I am well, and have been to Johannesburg to see Wooly Mammoth on his revival tour. What an inspiration! I wish you could come out to hear him! I was so moved by his passion for the Lord I felt inspired to let you know about his tour. I encourage you to stomp forthrightly to him when he comes to the shores of America.'

"You know with what sincerity I write my letters from Nigeria which supplement my military pension," Kentrosaurus continued. " Well, Wooly Mammoth has double that intensity in his delivery. His story is terribly tragic, you know, being frozen as he was, for so many thousands of years. Is he grateful to Lord Jesus now that he is revived again!"

"Here is his sermon; I write it to you for your benefit, cousin Stegosaurus."

"Brothers and Sisters, I welcome you today to my revival sermon, thank you for allowing me to visit you all here. My heart is warmed by the hospitality of the people of Johannesburg, South Africa. I say my heart is warmed, and it really is, you know I have a well known story and it is a fact that for thousands of years it was my fate to be frozen; locked away from the land of the living in the icy grip of the cold land of extinction.

Cold and heartless it is, my friends, my Brothers and Sisters! But my heart is warmed by your hospitality, the kindnesses you have shown me in the last few days, and by the kindnesses of the Lord Jesus in my recovery and return to the land of the living! What joy re experienced! Let me tell you, Brothers and Sisters, I was FROZEN, but now I am SAVED! And as it says in the Book of the Psalms, it says, "THE LORD shall PRESERVE thy COMING AND THY GOING forevermore! I says, FOREVERMORE! " Lord, A Lord A Mighty! Can you say with me, Brothers and Sisters, AMEN? AMEN! AMEN! For there are those who give credit to modern science for my miracle, but I counter to you my Brothers and Sisters, that nothing happens which is not the will of the LORD! If the Lord Jesus will it, so will it BE!

I return you again to that same Psalm, 121: Where comes my help and salvation? THE LORD! It says, it tells me what I can have, and you can have it too, if you will surrender your will ! Feel the POWER of the LORD! the pure power of DIVINE SALVATION!

Where comes my help and salvation? It says, in the book of the Psalms, I lift up mine eyes, I lift up mine eyes, and my trunk, to the Mountains! TO THE MOUNTAINS! Where does my help come from? THE LORD! THE MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH! AMEN! HE will not let your foot slip! He who watches over you will not slumber! So even as I slept frozen solid in the land of extinction, THE LORD DID NOT SLUMBER! He did NOT ABANDON ME! THE LORD JESUS IS HERE FOR YOU TOO! If all you do is ask, the LORD JESUS waits to enter your heart! Do not be cold, as HE WILL NOT SLUMBER! His heart is warm, My heart is warm, YOUR hearts will be WARMED by the JOY OF SALVATION! AMEN!!

INDEED, says the Psalms, HE who watches over Israel shall not sleep!! YOU know something, Brothers and Sisters? I will tell you something, maybe you did not know, and this will enlighten you: THE LORD watches over Israel, but he also watches over us HERE in JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA! THE LORD JESUS is waiting FOR YOU, Brothers and Sisters, waiting! He does not want that you should turn to SATAN, who leads you with lies and deceit to the cold land of extinction!

The Book of the Psalms tells, us, IT SAYS, THE LORD watches over you; THE LORD is your SHADE at your RIGHT hand! Or paw! or CLAW!! AMEN! LORD A MIGHTY! CAN YOU HELP ME SAY IT? I want you to help me to hear you say AMEN! AMEN, brothers and sisters! AMEN! The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon BYYYYYYYYYYY night! AMEN, LORD JESUS, AMEN!

And I say onto you all, the last is where I started, and I tell you again, the LORD shall PRESERVE thy COMING AND THY GOING FOREVERMORE! Let me tell you, Brothers and Sisters, I know all about BEING PRESERVED! SO I tell you, I WELCOME you into the HEART of the LORD! into the WAY! THE LIFE! THE FAITH you HAVE CAN move MOUNTAINS and DO ANYTHING you WISH AND DESIRE! BE not FROZEN and locked away! Come with me Brothers and Sisters, to the JOY in the LIGHT OF THE LORD JESUS!"

"Kentrosaurus encouraged me heartily to seek the sermons of Wooly Mammoth," said Stegosaurus, "But I haven't the heart to tell him that kind of forceful zeal is just a bit much for me. Religions mean well; they serve a good meal especially on Palm Sunday.. It just seems that Religion is something for mammals to fight over a lot. Do you know what the problem is? They live in a desert and they don't have any trees. All they have are vines and fig trees; and I don't need to tell you what happened the last time I ate too many fig trees!"

2011-07-13T18:46:00.003-04:00

"Tree Man" Who Grew Roots May Be Cured!

Wooly Mammoth Revival Tour: 2016?

Triceratops Back In The News: Was There A "Three Meter Gap"?

Pterosaurs Learned How To Share

"This is like being able to stick a thermometer in an animal that has been extinct for 150 million years!"

2011-06-28T19:30:00.010-04:00

Fred Echols: Welcome to WVTF's Evening Edition. Tonight we're featuring a discussion with the large and lovable icon of Colorado, Mr. Stegosaurus. Mr. Stegosaurus has enjoyed a special place in the hearts and minds of millions since Professor Othniel Charles Marsh of Yale discovered him in Colorado back in the year 1877. This popularity is particularly enduring among small children, who, in 1982 voted him the State Fossil of Colorado. Several other states such as Wyoming and Utah now have State Fossils, but Stegosaurus was the first. official State Fossil. He also recently ran for a seat in the State Senate of Colorado, which he lost to Ken Salazar. Mr. Stegosaurus is educated, having obtained a degree in Horticulture Consumption from Virginia Tech in 2007; His graduate studies involve a doctorate in tree disease; and he works avidly in landscaping and Hokie Bird protecting. He is also an author, singer, and small business owner.

Welcome, Mr. Stegosaurus, to Evening Edition.

Stegosaurus: Thank you, Fred. I am pleased to be here. Thank you for the opportunity. I love press conferences and interviews.

Fred Echols: Well then you have come to the right place. You seem to be quite active for someone 140 million and ....

Stegosaurus: five.

Fred Echols: yes, five. And very creative. Are there any other hobbies or creative endeavors which I have failed to mention?

Stegosaurus: I would be glad to talk about them, Fred. I also want to thank you and all the fine folks at WVTF public radio for celebrating my birthday every year, and for giving me a place to record my multi platinum wax cylinders.

Fred Echols You're welcome.

Stegosaurus: I think it should be mentioned that I love bird watching! I've said it before I wish I could turn into a bird and fly away, although I know that isn't going to happen any time soon. Occasionally I'll take a vacation and float forthrightly on my raft to New Zealand, where The Moa Birds and I have some great times. Don't forget to mention too, my newest business venture, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, which has helped Moas and Mammals rebuild after the earthquakes in New Zealand. We've also spent some time helping our friends in Japan.

Fred Echols: I am very impressed, Mr. Stegosaurus. You seem very involved in civic and political affairs. Do you plan to run for office again any time soon?

Stegosaurus No, sir I do not. I enjoy public service, and I congratulate Senator Salazar on his appointment to the Department of the Interior. It is a promotion of sorts to be placed in the President's cabinet. But my only ambition now is to be a farmer scientist. Some days I think about starting a campaign, but then I get distracted by ferns and rosebushes. While I would not rule out the possibility entirely, I'm presently perfectly happy in private life. It just takes time I think that could be better spent on my private charity and business interests.

Fred Echols: I must compliment you that you are very articulate for someone who has a brain the size of a walnut.

Stegosaurus Thank you. Don't take offense, but honestly, mammals think they are so much smarter because they have larger brains. Yet you remember a year ago, speaking of politics, when they tried to convince us that my friend, the Honorable Congresssaurus Triceratops of Wyoming did not exist!? Its the most absurd thing I've ever heard! He's been my friend for 68 million years!!

Why, next thing you know, they'll try to convince us that a draconian tax scheme and adherence to international law over and above local and state authorities will reverse the global environmental changes we are presently experiencing!

Fred Echols: So, Mr. Stegosaurus. Are you a global warming skeptic?

Stegosaurus: Well, no. But it should be as obvious as the beak on your face, or my face, rather, that the process is cyclical, and mammals could slow it down, but not stop or reverse it entirely. I remember last time this happened; I thought I could do something about it at first, but eventually I gave up and became extinct instead.

You want to do something? Save a dinosaur! Stomp forthrightly everywhere you go! Protect your environment by enforcing private propery rights. It should be no surprise that I am an advocate for alternative fuel sources. Too many mammals think that in order to solve a problem you need to make that problem bigger. Think small. Think local, and you will end up with big results. Your own history proves this to be so.

Fred Echols: Well, let us go to the phones, and speak to Joe in Danville, who has a question for you on alternative fuel sources. Thank you, Joe, you're on the air, with Mr. Stegosaurus.

Joe: THANK YOU SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR THE PUBLIC SERVICE, WVTF PUBLIC RADIO. You say, Mr. Stegosaurus, that you support other fuel sources. What kind of fuel sources would you support? I support fuel cells! Also, don't you think the Government should sponsor an energy independence day? Finally a last question and then I'll take my answer off the air. Don't you think it is contradictory for you to eat so many trees, and lecture others about care for the environment? THANK YOU THANK YOU WVTF AND STEGOSAURUS.

Stegosaurus: Well, Joe that is a lot of questions let me see where I can start. I am pleased to hear you mention fuel cell technology. It is a start, and one I think ought to be expanded by private industry. I do not think your Government should sponsor or subsidize anything. Though I am very large I also own a number of small businesses. If you allow free enterprise to determine the course of action, the praxeological conclusion as experience has shown, would be less is more. Small ideas can spread into the maximum amount of prosperity within a short amount of time. Again, your own history as a people has shown this.

How can a central authority determine for ALL the proper course of action? In some rare cases this theory can function, but for the most part could be handled better locally, closer to home. For the environment, I would decentralize. You know what kind of environmental conditions you have on hand, and the individual entrepreneur could harness that power into profit for himself, and benefit all. It would be a regional condition dependency, so that in one place, wind would work best; in others, solar. In some, I would have to confess, your mountainous regions, particularly, coal and oil would still be your best option. This is why rules from a central authority on this issue would have shortcomings. International rules could also have a disasterous effect on the soverign status of your country and the National security of your borders.

I do not think it is contradictory to eat trees and care about the environment. A dinosaur has to eat! And, after all I don't eat all trees. I don't eat Juglandaceae, or Ginkgoaceae. And in all honesty, sir. If a world without polar ice caps was good enough for me, its good enough for you too.

Fred Echols: Well, then. Let's go to the phones and talk to Rachel in Roanoke. Rachel, you're on the air with Mr. Stegosaurus.

Rachel: Yes, Mr. Stegosaurus. As you know, in the book of Romans, 1 and 24 it begins to state the end times that we are now in. I believe this is so, but we can stop that do you know how we can stop that? It says in 6:23 of Romans we must turn to God to be saved, and we can do that by loving each other. Can you not see this can be achieved, that we can turn back to our hearts with land healer groups?

Stegosaurus I am sure you mean well. I know you are getting information from ancient sources, and as an ancient animal I am fond of ancient things. There can be much benefit from learning about the past experience, and much benefit from finding common ground and loving one another, but I also think that that no matter what hard times we face, if we are mammal or dinosaur, we must sometimes in order to find hope, and sustainability for the future look to sources outside the traditions to which we have been used to relying upon. I do not doubt your intentions or your good heart; yet I can't help but think that you would benefit much from reading some more modern, balanced literature in addition to that which you have heretofore relied upon. I am, as I have said, 140 million and 5, fond of ancient things and very set in my ways but I am also fascinated by modern technology and the way it opens up the mind to so many future possibilities. This could be what we all need to live together. Thank you for your call.

Fred Echols: Now let's go to the phones and talk to Susan in Galax. Susan, you're on the air with Mr. Stegosaurus.

Susan: Mr. Stegosaurus, I heard your response to Joe in Danville. You sound like a Republican! How did you ever get the support of NPR?! Do you love guns and hate gay people too?

Stegosaurus: Susan, I don't use guns. I have a cool, spiky tail. And when you have a cool, spiky tail you have an inherent restraint that guns do not provide. Mammals have guns to protect themselves because they lack a cool, spiky tail, but they ... most of them in my experience .... also lack the laid back demeanor of a herbivore. If they ate more plants and had a cool spiky tail there would be a lot less violence with guns or anything else. Perhaps evolution will work on that someday. It would be nice if mammals had a cool spiky tail.

Who says I have animosity towards gay mammals because I am an advocate for private entrepreneurship? You should stop this polarizing nonsense and cease to think like someone with a brain the size of a walnut. There are too many problems in the world today to waste time defending myself against this absurd accusation. You have a larger brain. Please use it. Next call please.

Fred Echols: And one last call before the news break from Jebediah in Floyd. You are on the air with Mr. Stegosaurus, Jebediah.

Jebediah Do you support a commodity backed currency, such as gold or silver? If so, can you not see the problems inherent in it? A commodity backed currency would limit the amount of money available, and limit the number of people we could help!

Stegosaurus: Yes, Jebediah, I support a commodity backed currency. I understand the amount of gold and silver available is not equal to the amount of dollars presently in circulation. This is why legal tender laws should be dispensed with, and other things, other commodities in addition to your gold and silver allowed to be used to back them. I am aware of the way that gold and silver is mined, and that there are some mammals who have moral issues with it. Perhaps an association should be formed to ensure workers' safety; I would strongly suggest trees be used as a commodity. This would eliminate the problem of morality with gold and silver. Also, is it moral, then, to continue to use fiat money, and to steal from the poor through inflation and borrowing? Not every Nation has the moral scruples that the United States has with gold and silver mining, and the Nation with a strong currency is also strong in other ways as well. Personal liberty depends upon sound money. You have to learn about the consequences of actions in everything and understand it is not as simple as "proper redistribution." Wealth is created through a process and is not limitless. Do not obstruct this process. Instead, make this process available to all, and the amount of poverty and dependence will shrink. Help the poor by giving them the opportunity to help themselves.

There are some who say it is only a small group of speculators making money, and such a system would still lead to a series of little economic bubbles. Your own history has shown, sir , that while there is no perfect depression or panic free economic system, the most prosperity has come to America during its Gold Standard years; the most opportunity to make the dreams of mammals everywhere possible. Depressions would still occur; but they would be less frequent and not as deep. This series of bubbles argument was what your present central bank used to justify its formation, and continued existence. Now you have had centralized banking for almost 100 years. Your purchasing power has been reduced 95 per cent, you are in excess of 14 trillion in debt, and involved in three pointless wars that seem to have no end in sight. Again I feel it bears repeating that your history has shown that your depressions under the Gold standard were smaller and less frequent., and given the choice I would choose sound money over fiat money any time.

Fred Echols: Thank you for joining us on Evening Edition; we are about to take a break for NPR news, and be back. Stay with us to hear more conversation with Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado.

*************************************

Fred Echols: Welcome back to Evening Edition. If you're just joining us, we've been speaking to the large and lovable Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado. You have expressed a lot of political opinions in our first half, Mr. Stegosaurus; I am not sure that you are not planning to run for office! Now I have one question I hope you will feel comfortable answering. In spite of all your free market rhetoric, did you or did you not cast your 2008 ballot for Eugene Victor Debs?

Stegosaurus: No problem. Yes, Fred I did. . I am big, and therefore Government should be big but only go the places I want it to. Have faith that a Federal authority which claims the power to provide you with all your needs will never trample on your civil rights, even though history has shown this to be the end result in any age. Mr. Debs looks out for the little guy; and even though I am big, I care about the little guy too.

Fred Echols: You do realize that this position is contradictory from that which you expressed in our first half, right?

Stegosaurus: Yes, Fred. This is the paradoxical contradiction of modern American life.

Fred Echols: And you are aware that, as you put it, Eugene Victor Debs has been .... extinct ... for some time.

Stegosaurus But Fred, so have I.

Fred Echols: Okay. Onto other things. What other things that interest you have we not discussed yet?

Stegosaurus: How much I hate insects! Indeed they are obnoxious and annoying creatures! They are selfish by eating trees to the point of making the entire species of tree extinct! They are small and get under my scales and in my eyes! There are few things I wish I could use my cool, spiky tail on, that would have no effect whatsoever! Insects are a form of technology I wish had never been invented. If I ever find out who invented them I will whack them with my cool, spiky tail AND stomp on them forthrightly! How do you like that!?

Fred Echols: It makes me glad I am not an insect. Also, I did not invent insects. Just so you know. Let's go back to the phones and speak to George in Charlottesville. George, you're on live, with Mr. Stegosaurus.

George: Mr. Stegosaurus, hello.

Stegosaurus: Hello, George.

George Thanks for taking my call. I have a question about the Stegosaurus School of Dance. I have two left feet, always have, and I'm 76 years old. Going to be 77 in July. Is there any hope for me? I'd love to be Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly, but all my life I've danced like Franklin Cover. Can you give me lindy hop lessons? Please help.

Stegosaurus: George, thank you so much for your call! I'm certainly glad to help! You say you are in Charlottesville, well then you're in luck! There is a Virginia branch of the Stegosaurus School of Dance ready to come to your aid! Leave your number off the air with our screener, and I'll be glad to get back to you as soon as possible! Let's get started today. I founded the Stegosaurus School of Dance to help people like you!

Fred Echols: And now we'll go to Richmond, and talk to Carol. Carol, you're on with Stegosaurus.

Carol: Hello, Stegosaurus! I just wanted to say I am really impressed by your spiff, sexy plates and cool, spiky tail! If you ever get tired of waiting for Marilyn Maxwell, feel free to give me a call! I'd love to take you out for a good time!

Fred Echols: [ laughter ]

Stegosaurus: Well, thank you, Carol I'm very flattered. I'm not sure what to say to such a munificent offer. I'm really rather attatched to Marilyn at present, though I know I have many adoring fans all over the country and the world. Thank you.

Fred Echols: And now, Stephen, from Lynchburg has a question. What's on your mind, Stephen?

Stephen: Stegosaurus, I'm a big fan of your New York Times Best Seller, Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus! Can you help me? I am at wits' end! I am a gardener myself, and I am having trouble keeping my tomato plants alive. They seem to be suffering from a slow, top down wilting, and I am afraid that they will completely die! Is there anything I can do to save them?

Stegosaurus: Well, it looks like you could be suffering from Early Blight of Tomato. I'll give you an 11 point list I've gathered from my friends at the University of Maine.

1. Use only clean seed saved from disease-free plants.
2. Remove and destroy crop residue at the end of the season. Where this is not practical, plow residue into the soil to promote breakdown by soil microorganisms and to physically remove the spore source from the soil surface.
3. Practice crop rotation to non-susceptible crops (3 years). Be sure to control volunteers and susceptible weeds.
4. Promote good air circulation by proper spacing of plants.
5. Orient rows in the direction of prevailing winds, avoid shaded areas, and avoid wind barriers.
6. Irrigate early in the day to promote rapid drying of foliage.
7. Healthy plants with adequate nutrition are less susceptible to the disease.
8. Minimize plant injury and the spread of spores by controlling insect feeding.
9. Hand picking diseased foliage may slow the rate of disease spread but should not be relied on for control. Do not work in a wet garden.
10. Use resistant or tolerant varieties.
11. The preventative fungicide chlorothalonil (Bravo) used on a seven to ten day schedule gives effective control
12. And actually, here's a 12th point, Stephen. If all of that fails, just eat your plants whole and start all over again in new soil plowed by your cool, spiky tail.
That's usually what I do, rather than point 11, which involves non organic farming. It is really the most practical thing to do.

Fred Echols: We are nearing the end of our time on Evening Edition tonight, Stegosaurus. Do you have any closing remarks, any wisdom of the ages to leave us with?

Stegosaurus: I really appreciate the opportunity to appear on your program Fred. I love interviews, and press conferences. If I could leave you all with any advice it would be to relax. Eat more aloe plants, and don't forget to stop and smell the rosebushes before you eat them. I may be 140 million and 5, but I know that every day above ground is a gift which should not be wasted. Be nice to your fellow mammal. Only use your cool, spiky tail for plowing. And never stomp forthrightly on anybody intentionally. Thank you so much for having me. I'm sure its much better programming than a discussion about the National debt.

Fred Echols: Thank you, Mr. Stegosaurus, and thank you listeners, for tuning in to Evening Edition. Tune in next week, when we'll talk to a trio of local financial advisors, and our topic will be the National debt. Thank you, again Stegosaurus. Good night to all, from Fred Echols, WVTF and Radio IQ News.

2011-06-04T21:57:00.001-04:00

"Last Wednesday I celebrated my birthday. Well, here it is, I am 140 million and 5. Where has the time gone? I celebrated with my friends at WVTF Public Radio, and politely ate a cake. How nice of them to host my birthday every year, " said Stegosaurus.

"I really don't know what to say about my birthday anymore ; I am pleased to have had so many of them. I have seen a lot of amazing changes in my time though of all new technologies I think the most fascinating ( and delicious! ) is grass. I am really fond of it and think it is one of the finest new inventions of the last 35 milllion years. ( give or take a few ) Don't tell anyone that I like grass more than I like cake."

2011-05-22T23:32:00.004-04:00

"For someone so large, I sure do obtain a lot of enjoyment from the challenge of running small businesses. Many of them, like my School of Dance are well documented. One which has not received as much attention is my professional modeling career." said Stegosaurus.

"The first photo is of me with my old friend Charlie Knight about the time that I began my career in modeling. It was sometime last week, or maybe it was 1899 .... Somewhere around there; I can't remember exactly. "

"Taken while enjoying a nice meal of ferns."

"Taken during the finals week, back when I was studying for my degree in Horticulture Consumption."

"With my friends at one of the King Kong Dinosaur Cast Reunions."

"One of my nude scenes. Tasteful, don't you think?"

"See? Black & White photos are even flattering to a Stegosaurus! Aren't I beautiful? My friend Ray Harryhausen thinks so. What do you say?"

2011-05-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

2011-04-22T21:43:00.002-04:00

"I recieved a very distressing word from the Moa Birds in New Zealand a few months ago," said Stegosaurus. "They were very distressed, for on February 22nd there was an earthquake in their homeland. It was of 6.5 magnitude, and about 75 mammals became extinct.

Immediately my heart went out to my ornithological friends, whom I have loved to spend my vacations watching. At once I established the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, realizing that the Stegosaurus Construction Company would also be useful.

The Moa Birds were so happy to see me. Though they were distressed they appeared otherwise well. I am so glad none of them became extinct as a result of the terrible disaster.

While I was in New Zealand rebuilding I learned of the 8.9 magnitude quake in Japan, which happened on March 11th. It was such a large quake, that the exact number of mammal extinctions could only be guessed at; indeed the sight of the destruction filled me with awe and terror.

After about a month in New Zealand the Moa Birds insisted gratefully that they appreciated the reconstructive work with which I had assisted, and though they enjoyed my company if I felt inclined to travel to Japan with the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency to help the Japanese I could do so.

Feeling fortunate in comparison, the Moas were all moved to compassion born of shared experience. Four of them joined me on my raft as I floated forthrightly to the Empire of the Sun. All the time I was longing for the convenience of a contiguous land mass, as I had known in my youth just out of my shell.

When we arrived in Japan, the apparent disaster was greater than could be put into words, particularly by someone with a brain the size of a walnut. The Moas and I set to work immediately, encouraged and amazed by the resilience and determination of the Japanese people.

Within a few days my friend Rhedosaurus arrived, having heard of the disaster and an extra set of claws was put to work. I had not seen Rhedosaurus since I'd taught him to waltz, and he told me that my dancing lessons were to him a great deal of help in finding a nice girl Rhedosaurus, to whom he was now married. I congratulated him, but there was little time for celebration under the circumstances. "

Donate to help New Zealand

Japan relief agencies

2011-03-21T18:14:00.000-04:00

Bonjour, je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

Loricatosaurus et moi nous sommes retournés en France après notre Lune de miel en Turquie. Nous avons passé un très beau séjour.

Nous avons vues des Dindes en Turquie, donc nous avons observé beaucoup d’oiseaux. Des créatures assez agréables et belles à regarder, mais si j’en deviens une dans quelques millions d’années, je serais très désappointé. Elles sont très, très petites.

Loricatosaurus s’est amusé à vagabonder dans les profonds étangs de la Nicopolis de l’Hiérapolis parce que le calcium sulfate ressemble à la neige. De la neige dans des températures chaudes!

Nous avons visité l’ancienne ville d’Ephesos, nous pensions d’être capables de visiter la bibliothèque, mais il semble que quelqu’un par hasard avait marché d’un pas lourd sur elle. En réalité, beaucoup des bâtiments semblent avoir soufferts malheureusement le même sort.

J’imagine que c’était une fois un merveilleux endroit à voir, parce qu’il était impressionnant en ruines. Les mammifères font des attractions touristiques des villes qui sont en ruines pour une raison étrange. Arès la ville de Selcuk, nous avons recherché les endroits plus modernes du pays. Nous sommes allé à Sultanhani où nous avons trouvé des personnes qui essayé de nous vendre des choses fait de céramiques. J’ai laissé Loricatosaurus y allé parce quelle avait prise une classe à l’Institut Villa Pierrefeux de marcher dans une chambre pleine de porcelaine avec une superbe queue épineuse. Elle nous a obtenu des très beaux souvenirs.

Quand nous avions faim nous avons marché d’un pas lourd en Constantinople, on nous a informé poliment que le nom propre de la ville était maintenant Istanbul. Nous avons aussi très faim et nous avons trouvé un bon repas de Pinus brutia et de Juniperus macrocarpa avec du fromage. Nous étions ravis d’avoir la chance d’apprécier ce bon repas, lorsque qu’un monsieur qui parlait anglais est venu à toute vitesse devant nous et voulait notre attention. Il avait un sourire chaleureux et agréable et il nous dit, "Mes chers dinosaures, je m’appelle Master Achbar ibn Ali et je suis enchanté de vous voir. C’est étrange de voir des dinosaures maintenant de nos jours, donc soyez les bienvenue. Mais vous mangez mes arbres. S’il vous plait ne manger pas mes arbres!"

"Pardonnez-nous, Achbar," dit ma chère femme Loricatosaurus. " Lexovissaurus et moi nous sommes sur notre Lune de miel et nous avons aimé visité votre pays."

"Veuillez accepter nos excuses," je lui dis. Achbar répond, "Accepté. Je vous félicite sur votre mariage, et j’aimerais vous montrer l’hospitalité de notre pays en vous offrant un repas, si vous ne mangé pas mes arbres."

J’hésitais d’accepter, parce que je ne savais pas si la cuisine de la Turquie serait aussi bonne que celle de la France, mais Loricatosaurus m’a convaincue que lorsque que nous sommes à Rome, nous devons faire ce que les Romains font, même si nous sommes en Turquie. Ceci est parfaitement clair, même pour moi car j’ai un cerveau de la grosseur d’une noix. Loricatosaurus aussi avait fait de la recherche sur les coutumes de la Turquie et elle m’a dit que d’être invité dans la demeure d’un Turque est très rare et considéré un honneur. Si nous refusons nous insulterons notre hôte. Donc nous avons accepté de bon cœur.

"Vous n’avez pas d’objections," a dit Achbar “ si je vous sers votre repas à l’extérieur. Parce que vous êtes trop grand pour entrer dans ma maison."

"Nous comprenons," je lui ai dit. Loricatosaurus s’est excusé de ne pas avoir apporté des fleurs, sachant que c’était la coutume en Turquie.

"Ne vous inquiétez pas, je ne suis pas offensé," a dit Achbar avec un sourire.

Quand nous sommes arrivés à la demeure d’Achbar, il nous a apporté de l’eau de Cologne au citron pour que nous nous lavions nos griffes avant le repas. Et pendant qu’Achbar était dans sa maison entrain de préparer le repas Loricatosaurus et moi avons vue une volée de dindes et nous les avons observés. C’était très romantique.

Master Achbar arriva avec un repas qu’il avait préparé lui-même pour nous. Comme apéritif nous avons mangé du Tursu, qui ressemble à un cornichon avec de l’ail. Pour le plat principal, nous avons mangé des Topinambours et puis des Gougettes farci de riz. Loricatosaurus m’a dit que ceci est du Dolma, et que je dois seulement lever ma griffe droite à ma bouche à cause d’un signe l’étiquette et à cause de leur religion. Je suis très reconnaissant à ma chère épouse, qui me garde des ennuis!

Pour le dessert Achbar nous avait fait un paquet de cevizli kurabiye, qui sont des biscuits aux noix fait maison. Je pensais de l’ironie de ceci, et je pensais à mon cousin Stegosaurus, qui avait refusé de manger des noyers. J’avais hâte de lui dire comment courageux nous avons été!

Après avoir lavé nos griffes avec de l’eau de Cologne au citron, Master Achbar nous a offert du café de la Turquie et nous étions très honorés. Et comme on dit là, ceci est considéré comme une marque de respect de 40 ans et pour les mammifères ceci est une longue période de temps.

J’ai demandé à notre nouvelle ami Achbar s’il était le Calife de l’Empire d’Ottoman et il a rit de tout son cœur. Il me dit, "Non je ne le suis pas! L’Empire d’Ottoman était bien avant mon temps!"

Donc, je n’ai pas rencontré le Calife de l’Empire d’Ottoman, mais nous avions fait un nouvel ami. Un couple de jours de plus à Istanbul, à faire des choses qui ne sont pas mentionnés en bonne société et nous avons retourné en marchant d’un pas lourd chez-nous en France. Loricatosaurus et moi nous avons aimé notre Lune de miel en Turquie ; je suis certain que nous allons y retourner pour une autre visite!

2011-03-14T21:13:00.000-04:00

Dinosaurs Survived Mass Extinction by 700,000 Years, Fossil Find Suggests

" I always suspected I wasn't extinct," said Stegosaurus.

2011-02-07T22:19:00.004-05:00

"I recieved a visit this weekend from my friend Apatosaurus, who asked for some advice," said Stegosaurus.

"Stegosaurus, " said he, "I'd really like your advice. What would you think of me if I became a meat eater?"

"Are you still having a mid life crisis?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Yes," admitted Apatosaurus.

"So just changing your name from Brontosaurus to Apatosaurus wasn't enough."

"I had outgrown Brontosaurus. I don't know, you know I played a meat eater in King Kong; I got to chew on some sailors. I'm thinking its time for a change. I've eaten plants for millions of years and now..."

"I wish you wouldn't look at me like that when you say you want to be a meat eater," said Stegosaurus. "Besides you just haven't got the teeth for meat eating."

"I'm sorry, Stegosaurus," apologized Apatosaurus. "Do you think I can at least talk to your brother Allosaurus about what its like to be a meat eater?"

"You could, but I wouldn't recommend it. Given his nature he's more likely to make you lunch than give you advice."

"You have a point." conceded Apatosaurus.

"I have an idea!" said Stegosaurus. "Perhaps you should consult Thesaurus for advice."

"I've heard of him but never met him." said Apatosaurus.

" Neither have I, but his wisdom is legendary. I'm sure Thesaurus can answer your questions."

"Thanks for the advice, Stegosaurus," said Apatosaurus. "I'll go looking for him after we eat some plants together."

"I thought you were now a meat eater." observed Stegosaurus.

"There's always tomorrow for dreams to come true," rejoined Apatosaurus.

2011-01-23T07:44:00.000-05:00

Dinosaur Egg Collection Reveals Astonishing Find

2010-12-24T19:36:00.001-05:00

2010-12-23T19:35:00.001-05:00

"I am spending Christmas in Kentucky with my class," said Stegosaurus. "We will be at the Ashland estate in Lexington trying to protect the Fraxinus quadrangulata from the nasty Emerald Ash Borer Beetle. I have mentioned before my extreme dislike of insects! They are such selfish creatures! How could they not consider the consequences of their actions ? What will happen if they make the Fraxinus quadrangulata extinct? Trust me, I know by experience that extinction is forever!"

"Two of the Fraxinus quadrangulata on the grounds of the estate are more than 300 years old," observed the extroverted plate lizard. " I hope that I can control my own appetite long enough to save them."

2010-12-21T18:50:00.000-05:00

I am sure that you will recall that during my failed Senate campaign of 2008 I heartily endorsed the work of Dennis J. Klein, said Stegosaurus. "His HHO technology was advertised as an alternative to fossil fuel. Naturally, as a dinosaur I feel fossil fuel is murder so I gladly embraced it, and Mr. Klein came out to Colorado and spoke at my rallies. I really admired him for his care and concern about the future of the environment and of dinosaurs.

Now I have returned from my cousin's wedding in France, and I find in my mail a letter from my friend Cory who enlightened me about the kind of business that Mr. Klein is running. I am indebted to my friend for enlightening me. With his permission I will share his letter to me with you.

Dear Mr. Stegosaurus,

"Denny Klein is a con man. This scam has been around for a long time, unfortunately. The concept with the automotive application is particularly ridiculous. The idea is that the engine is used to power an electrolysis device to break water into hydrogen and oxygen, which is then combusted in the engine to increase the fuel economy. The problem is that the equation is balanced, and therefore zero-sum. 2H2O + ? ? 2H2 + O2 If you burn the hydrogen and oxygen that you create from the electrolysis process, you will only get back the amount of energy you put into the components during electrolysis. Since the energy comes from the same engine in which the fuel is then burned, all you are doing is creating a closed-loop system. While the electrolysis part of the system is pretty efficient, none of the other parts is. Every time the energy cycles through the system, you get huge energy losses from friction, heat, etc. What this guy is selling is scientific-sounding lies. He uses technical words to describe his process that often don't even make sense. For example, he says that his gas "sublimates". Sublimation is when a solid converts directly into a gas without first becoming a liquid. Therefore, a gas by its very definition cannot sublimate. Now, this guy claims that his gas is HHO, as opposed to water, which is HOH. I'm going to play devil's advocate and pretend that his gas can actually exist (it can't). The process of rearranging the bonds in the molecule would again require the same amount of energy that would be liberated during combustion. Secondly, this guy claims that his gas will burn without the presence of additional oxygen. If the gas could self-combust as he claims, it would have to be extremely volatile. It would either break down into water again almost immediately, or worse, given his claims of how much energy is liberated during the combustion process it would explode."

"If you want to see a real and truly amazing alternate fuel technology, check out thermal depolymerization. Look on YouTube for some really cool videos about it."

your friend, Cory

"When I saw that I was so upset! How could Mr. Klein take advantage of my trust like that? He knows my brain is the size of a walnut. I became so angry that the first thing I wanted to do was stomp on him forthrightly .... and for good measure whack him with my cool, spiky tail !

Only problem with this plan was that Stegosaurus Claus heard about it before I had carried it out and told me in no uncertain terms that if I harmed Mr. Klein he would not leave me even one present for Christmas. Therefore I relented my anger but I am deeply disappointed. Thank goodness for my friend Cory who has saved my reputation from further embarassment. "

2010-11-17T21:18:00.004-05:00

Stegosaurus was pleased to stomp forthrightly over to Paris, France so that he could attend the wedding of his cousin Lexovissaurus to his girl friend, Loricatosaurus which was on November 14th. Now back home in the States, he will be glad to relate to the readers of his blog the joy of this occasion."

"The wedding was held in the delicious Tuilleries gardens. The guest list was extensive; the bride and groom spared no expense and we were all so happy to share this special day with them. Upon my arrival in the country I went straight away to the Tuilleries, and the first dinosaur I saw was my cousin Kentrosaurus. We spoke of our shared joy for the happiness of our French cousin, and the exceptional flowers of France," said Stegosaurus.

"These roses are a nice treat," observed Kentrosaurus.

"I must admit the cuisine is excellent in France," said Stegosaurus.

''I've never seen a couple who looked so happy together, and Loricatosaurus is stunning and more refined than ever after her summer spent in Switzerland at l’Institut Villa Pierrefeux Finishing School.''

"Have you noticed the care with which Lexovissaurus has taken to sharpen his shoulder spikes?!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "How stunning his plates are!"

"Indeed!" agreed Stegosaurus. "I cannot wait to congratulate them; they're a perfect couple. All of our best friends have turned out to wish them well! Look at the guest list!"

"My sister Quagga came with me from Nigeria." said Kentrosaurus; "The bride and groom were feeling generous and invited our friend Spinosaurus. All because he was good last Christmas and did not eat us so it couldn't cause any harm to let him celebrate the wedding. "

"How fine," said Stegosaurus; "The more the merrier. I thought I saw Nigersaurus here too?"

"Yes, he is," said Kentrosaurus. "He is helping prepare the wedding feast of Fagaceae family trees with cheese for the couple of the hour. He's working with Brachiosaurus.

Now look! There I see our friend Congresssaurus Triceratops. If you'll excuse me I think I'll go congratulate him."

"I see there's a nice herd of eleven Moa birds. I'll go say hi to them. I love bird watching," said Stegosaurus.

"I watched the Moa birds for several minutes, and then one of them looked up and saw me."

"Who is that watching us?" asked Moa.

"It is I, Stegosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "How are you doing?"

"Very fine," said Moa. "The cuisine here is indeed excellent and breathtakingly beautiful. The Moa delegation got here a little bit early and took a nice walk on the Pont Alexandre III before coming over here. It has been very nice. We have all heard rumors that Spinosaurus is here so we're kind of nervous but he is the only carnivore on the guest list so I guess there is safety in numbers."

"He's a nice enough fellow. I saw him last time I spent Christmas with my cousin Kentrosaurus." said Stegosaurus. "Still, given his nature, I agree there is safety in numbers. Do you mind if I watch you some more?"

"Oh, we don't mind at all," said Moa.

" I sat and watched the Moa birds, dreaming my impossible dream of someday turning into a bird and flying away. I know the Moas don't have any wings, but still, I dreamed. Then, my cousin Wuerhosaurus came up to say hi."

"Hey there, cousin Stegosaurus," said Wuerhosaurus.

"I'm glad to see you made it!" said Stegosaurus.

"I'm still traveling by slow boat, as is my tradition, but l was careful to leave enough time. I didn't want to miss Lexovissaurus' wedding. We missed you at the Stegosaurus Races in Kentucky this year."

"Yes, I was sorry to have missed that," confessed Stegosaurus. "I had gotten a splinter in my claw but its all better now."

"Good to hear," said Wuerhosaurus. "Have you heard that I actually won the Stegosaurus Races this year?"

"No, I had not! Congratulations!" Stegosaurus exclaimed.

"Thank you. So, I see you are watching the Moa birds."

"Why yes I am. They are very nice fellows, birds without wings."

"Yes they were born without them. You know, its a pity that paleontologists in England are seriously considering grounding Archaeopteryx.

"I agree," said Stegosaurus. "He's a nice guy and I hate to see him down."

"Say, is Stegosaurus Claus here?" Stegosaurus asked.

"He was invited I am told," remarked Wuerhosaurus. "But regretfully declined. It's the busiest time of the year for him right now."

"Then Ms. Quagga came up to us, and said hello."

"Pleased to see you," Stegosaurus, Wuerhosaurus." she said.

"This is going to be such a lovely wedding. I have just spoken to Loricatosaurus. She's anxious but looks lovely."

"Nice to see you, Ms. Quagga. I'm sure the wedding will be delightful. We're already having a wonderful time. How are things on the African plains?"

"Very pleasant. I am very much looking forward to Kwannzaa next month."

"If I may say so you always look ready to celebrate, Ms. Quagga, what with your stripes and all," said Stegosaurus.

"My attractive and festive hide is indeed something in which I take great pride," said Quagga. "If you will excuse me, I must return to assist Loricatosaurus. Have a nice day!"

"Thank you, you too!" said Wuerhosaurus.

"Ms. Quagga took her leave."

"Well now let us go talk to Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus to see how the preparation for the wedding feast is going." said Stegosaurus.

"Very well, good cousin." rejoined Wuerhosaurus.

"It did not take us long to find Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus, as they are sauropods. Nigersaurus greeted us heartily."

"Nice to see you both," he said, "...but I must ask you not to partake of the food until we are finished preparing the feast."

"We will be patient," Stegosaurus assured him.

"Tell them the menu so that they know what to expect," said Brachiosaurus.

"I'd be glad to." said Nigersaurus. "Tell me what you think."

Potato gratin a la Normande

Cauliflower gratin

Potato olive - ragout

Crème vichyssoise glacée

Buttersquash soup

Pear - Apple Compote with Honey

Jarlsberg, Apple & Mushroom Salad

Spiced apples & Pears on Brioche à tête

Fagaceae au gratin

Flourless Chocolate Cake

"That all sounds so delicious! I can hardly wait!" exclaimed the Stegosaurids in unison.

"Naturally, said Stegosaurus we begged Nigersaurus for a taste, but he refused, saying, 'It won't be long before dinner is served!'"

"I eventually tired of the effort, and left Wuerhosaurus, who was still trying to get a pre dinner snack. I went back out to the flowers and munched on some of those for a while.

While I was engaged in this effort, I saw Spinosaurus approaching, and thought it might be in my best interests to hide, so I did. I didn't mean to be anti social, I was just more interested in eating dinner than becoming it. "

"I heard him say, 'Stegosaurus? Where are you? I thought I saw you ...."'

"Spinosaurus looked around for a while and then said, 'More's the pity. There's nothing on the menu for carnivores.' and then he went on his way."

"I wanted to wait a little while, because I didn't want to run into a hungry Spinosaurus, so I kept under cover. This is when Lexovissaurus showed up."

"Hi, cousin! You look well ! Are you hiding from Spinosaurus too?"

Lexovissaurus dit, "Actuellement non, je ne l’ai pas vue .... Je vous cherchais parce que je suis nerveux."

Stegosaurus rejoined, "Do you have a case of cold claws? I hope not ! I'm sure...."

Lexovissaurus interrompe, "Non, non ce n’ai pas ça. Pas du tout ça. Je suis nerveux parce que je réalise que j’ai laissé Nigersaurus en charge du menu."

Stegosaurus said, "Where's the problem? I'm sure he'll do fine; I was just over in the kitchen with Wuerhosaurus and he wouldn't let us snack. I haven't tasted it yet, but I'm sure it will be great."

Lexovissaurus dit, "Nigersaurus est gentil, mais il n’est pas Français! Il.. je suis inquiet qu’il ne sera pas servir un repas Français qui convient à la réputation de mon pays! Comment est la nourriture de l’Afrique? Est-elle bonne?"

"You've been there. You know it is," Stegosaurus said.

"Ah oui, vous avez raison. Je suis très nerveux." dit Lexovissaurus.

"What's the real problem, cousin?" asked Stegosaurus. "Relax. Your shoulder spikes and tail spikes are sharp. Your plates are spiff and sexy. You look just fine."

"Non, ce n’est pas ça. Je suis assez confiant de mon apparence. Le problème est, honnêtement, je suis nerveux à propos du pasteur. Ça m’a pris du temps pour en trouvé un, que Congresssaurus Triceratops a offert n’emprunter un chapelain du Sénat Américain."

"I don't understand much about religion," said Stegosaurus. "I go to church on Palm Sunday for the food, but .... what's to be nervous about? Will you please eat some aloe plants? Everything is going to be okay. Trust me."

"Oui mon cousin tu as raison." dit Lexovissaurus.

"Have you practiced your presentation?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Ah, oui, en effet je l’ai. J’espère que Loricatosaurus l’aimera."

" Oh, I'm sure she --- there it is! That I have found why you are so nervous. Relax. Loricatosaurus will love your presentation. Now here comes the minister. Be nice and try not to stomp forthrightly on him by accident."

"Are you the groom, a Mr. Lexovissaurus? I'm the Reverend Barry C. Black. Sent on the recommendation of The Honorable Congressaurus Triceratops."

"Enchanté de vous connaitre, Révérend." dit Lexovissaurus.

"I'm sorry, my cousin in nervous," said Stegosaurus.

"Oh come now, I suppose its natural to be a little nervous on your wedding day. Try eating some aloe plants. It should help. Have you finished practicing your presentation?" asked Reverend Black.

"Oui, je l’ai, Révérend." confirme Lexovissaurus.

"Now about the rings. In my chruch, The Seventh Day Adventist, we traditionally do not exchange rings. However modern times have allowed it as an option left to the bride and groom. Do you and Loricatosaurus have.... rings?"

"Non, Révérend. On dit que les Stegosaurids ne portent pas de chapeaux, et ceci est vrai. Nous ne portons ni des chapeaux ou des dagues. Les dagues sont difficiles à mettre sur nos doigts parce que nos griffes y font obstacle."

"All right. That answers that question," said Reverend Black.

"Very well. Let us then go over the Bible verses you want. . "Now..."

"If you will excuse me, Reverend, I will leave you to consult with my cousin in private." said Stegosaurus.

"All right, Mr. Stegosaurus."

"Please be wary of my spiky tail; I do not mean to whack you with it."

"We'll keep a look out," promised Reverend Black.

"I got to watch the Moa Birds a little more as all the guests arrived and the time for the ceremony approached." said Stegosaurus.

After Lexovissaurus talked to the Reverend, he ate a quick meal of aloe plants, and then the time had arrived. Everyone was there, and even Spinosaurus was on his best behavior.

Lexovissaurus arrived and stood before the Reverend. And then there she was. Loricatosaurus in all her glory, escorted by her dear elderly father. Before she could speak, or even before the Reverend said a thing Lexovissaurus began to sing

"Tenez-moi prêt et tenez -moi vite
La formule magique que vous faites
C’est La vie en Rose

Et quand tu m’embrasse le ciel pousse un soupir
Et même si je ferme les yeux
Je voie La vie en Rose

Quand tu me pousse contre ton cœur
Je suis dans un Monde Appart
Un Monde Où les Roses Fleurissent

Et quand tu me parle les anges chantent du haut
Les mots de tous les jours semblent se changer en chansons d’amour

Donne-moi ton cœur et ton âme
Et la vie sera toujours
La vie en Rose"

"C’est adorable," dit Loricatosaurus. "Je vais tomber dans les pommes."

There was applause from all of us. Lexovissaurus looked relieved.

"This will be a new experience for me, as I have never before married two dinosaurus." remarked Reverend Black. Then he began the ceremony.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today before God to join in the bonds of holy matimony two Stegosauridae who have pledged their love to each other. "
"The bride and groom heartily welcome those they love, their family and friends to share in this joyous moment with them as they embark on a life together as dinosaur and wife."

"It has been requested that this verse be read from the scripture." said Reverend Black. "From the book of Ruth:

"I will not abandon or forsake you; where ever you shall go, I shall go; where you lodge I shall lodge, your people shall be my people, and your God my God."'

"And now I say onto you, Lexovissaurus and Loricatosaurus, "May you always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another."

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth."

"Such is the blessing that we are pleased to share with you both today. Lexovissaurus, do you take Loricatosaurus as your lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until extinction do you part?"

"Oui je le veux," proclame Lexovissaurus.

"And do you, Loricatosaurus, take Lexovissaurus as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until extinction do you part?"

"Oui je le veux," Loricatosaurus aussi le proclame.

"Then by the power vested in me by the hand of Providence, I now pronounce you man... er, ... dinosaur and wife." announced Reverend Black. "You may kiss the bride."

"After this point the guests all cheered and stomped forthrightly in celebration," said Stegosaurus. "We all gathered to eat the meal, which of course by now was finished with great pride by Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus. It was served by my friend Apatosaurus.

"When we had eaten our fill, the cooks were congratulated, and the guests toasted the bride and groom. Then, as had previously been agreed, I led everyone in dancing the lindy hop most of the night. At midnight, Lexovissaurus called for attention so that he could make an announcement."

"Chers amis. Loricatosaurus et moi, nous avons aimés partager ce jour avec vous tous. La soirée a été merveilleuse. Merci à tous pour être venue. Mon épouse et moi maintenant allons partir pour notre voyage de noces."

Loricatosaurus continue, "Nous aimons l’observation des oiseaux, et nous espérons d’être capable de voir plusieurs oiseaux quand nous serons en Turquie (Turkey)!"

"De plus, j’ai toujours voulu rencontré le Caliph de l’Empire Ottoman!" a déclaré Lexovissaurus. "Je suis sûr que le voyage sera un plaisir!"

"With that, my cousin and his bride took their leave, and after I led the crowd in a few more dances, we departed in great joy." said Stegosaurus. "I'm so glad I could be a part of it."

************************************

This Stegosaurusblog post dedicated to the memory of Phyllis M. Campbell, who was a friend of Stegosaurus.

the song "La Vie en Rose" written by Mack David ( english lyric ), and Louis Gugliemi

2010-10-27T21:47:00.010-04:00

"I've been down south in the U.S., just shy of Atlanta, Georgia with my class this month !" Exclaimed Stegosaurus. "We're trying to determine how we can save the Tsuga canadensis from the Wooly Adelgid. Those selfish insects how I hate them! Eating all of the Tsuga they can find! They could learn a few things about conservation, or at least sharing. If the Wooly Adelgid were any bigger I'd whack it with my cool, spiky tail! That's how much I dislike them!! How I hate insects!! They're so scary!!

Because I'm trying to save the Tsuga canadensis I could not be in D.C. for the hearings regarding my friend Congresssaurus Triceratops and the future of his job. So, I'm sure you've noticed the copy of the letter I sent to Congress last month. Last Friday I received from Triceratops a copy of the official transcript of the proceedings in Congress. I put them here for you to read, too, having skipped all the formalities that mammals find necessary to get right down to the part which involves my friend Triceratops and the other members of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus."

Save The Tsuga Canadensis

OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT FOR A JOINT SESSION OF U.S. CONGRESS, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27th, 2010
*************************************************************************************

TO DEBATE THE EXISTENCE OF THE HONORABLE MR. TRICERATOPS OF WYOMING, THE SENIOR MEMBER OF THE DINOSAUR CONGRESSIONAL CAUCUS
AND WHETHER HE SHOULD HOLD HIS COMMITTEE ASSIGNMENTS DUE TO THE QUESTIONS SURROUNDING HIS EXISTENCE.

TIME: 3:00 PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME

OUTSIDE THE US SENATE CHAMBER

NANCY PELOSI: "Now for the matter at hand, being the existence of the Honorable Mr. Triceratops of Wyoming, the senior member of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Since his existence is in question, should he retain his committee assignments and position as leader of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus?"

HARRY REID: "Due to the size of the members of this Caucus, we are all outdoors today. it's a nice day to be outdoors."

NANCY PELOSI: "Sergeant at arms, would you now read the roll call of the members of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus, and their invited friends present?"

SERGEANT AT ARMS: "Present and accounted for:

Capitalsaurus, the official State Dinosaur of the District of Columbia.

Astrodon, the official State Dinosaur of Maryland.

Hypsibema, the official State Dinosaur of Missouri.

Hadrosaurus, the official State Dinosaur of New Jersey.

Pleurocoelus, the official State Dinosaur of Texas.

Maiasaura, the official State Dinosaur of Montana.

Coelophysis, the official State Dinosaur of New Mexico.

Saurophaganax, the official State Dinosaur of Oklahoma.

Allosaurus, the official State Dinosaur of Utah.

and the Honorable Mr. Triceratops of Wyoming.

Also present at the request of Mr. Triceratops, Mr. Torosaurus of Wyoming,

and Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex of Montana.

These are all present.

Lastly I present a letter of support for Mr. Triceratops from Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado."

NANCY PELOSI: " Thank you." [ looks at letter from Stegosaurus briefly and then hands it to Vice President Joe Biden. Joe Biden reads it, to himself, and hands it to Harry Reid, who also reads the letter silently. ]

NANCY PELOSI: "Now Mr. Triceratops, because recent reports claiming that you never roamed the planet were found on the internet during the early days of August 2010, there has been called a joint session of Congress to debate your existence and determine if you should retain your lofty committee assignment as senior member of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus."

HARRY REID: "It seems that a fair number of reliable scientists have debated since the late 19th century and at last determined around early August that you do not exist. We will submit to the public record the following proof." [ presents a folder of papers printed off the internet, all of which are news stories about the recent Triceratops discovery. ]

NANCY PELOSI: "Now Mr. Reid, Vice President Biden, and myself have read your letter of support from Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado, and we also submit that to the public record.

[ Joe Biden hands letter from Stegosaurus to Ms. Pelosi, and she submits it to the public record.]

NANCY PELOSI: "While your letter of support from Mr. Stegosaurus is heartfelt, and will indeed be taken into consideration, you will need more proof to convince us. Is there anything you can say in your defense?"

TRICERATOPS: "I am convinced of my own existence certainly and think the record I've presented to the people of Wyoming since I was discovered by mammals in 1889 speaks for itself. But I will ask some of my friends to advocate on my behalf -- to step forward and speak."

HARRY REID: "All right. You may call your first witness, Mr. Triceratops."

TRICERATOPS: "I call into the Senate chamber Mr. Torosaurus of Wyoming."

TOROSAURUS: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Mammals and Dinosaurs. I come to you as a friend of Mr. Triceratops, who shares as a home my native State of Wyoming.
I have come as an advocate for the retention of his position as leader of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus.
I am his advocate because I am certain that he is honest and honorable. His record needs no defense. Neither should his existence. That should be obvious, as he does, after all have the largest head of any land animal ever discovered. How could you miss him ?
I am also here because he is my son! Triceratops, I am your father. The scientists have proven it; it should be obvious that we have the family resemblance going for us. I am pleased to call you my son.... and will be glad even as I have enjoyed my individuality to have my name decommissioned and become a Triceratops in name."

TRICERATOPS: "Thank you, Mr. Torosaurus. I would be pleased to next call before the Chamber Senators and Representative members of this body from my State of Wyoming, and members of this body from South Dakota, a State in which I am also loved. I ask to speak in my defense Democratic Senator Tim Johnson, and Republican Senator John Thune Senators of South Dakota. Also South Dakota Representative Stephanie Henseth Sandlin. From Wyoming, Republican Senator John Barrasso, and Republican Senator Michael B. Enzl. Also, Representative Cynthia Lummis,"

[ The Representatives and Senators called rise and walk as a group to the floor of the Chamber. ]

CYNTHIA LUMMIS: " I suppose that we are the Mammal delegation!" [ laughter ] "Very well, though. I am pleased to do so and defend my friend and co worker the Honorable Mr. Triceratops of Wyoming."

STEPHANIE HENSETH SANDLIN: "And from South Dakota we also speak well of Mr. Triceratops. Although he has chosen to represent Wyoming, we love and appreciate him as well. He advocates environmentally conscious legislation, proving he cares about his own species as well as the planet, and he loves to visit sick children in the hospitals and cheer them up, proving he cares about mammals too."

JOHN BARRASSO: "What trauma would we be causing small children if we told them one day, Triceratops does not exist? What monsters would we be, to make small children cry!
What a great advocate our environment, Mother Earth, would lose if we ejected Triceratops from this venerable deliberative body! We must think before we act, ladies and gentlemen!"

TIM JOHNSON: "We must put aside politics and stop this absurd witch hunt! Triceratops is one of the classic examples of Reptilia Ornithischia Ceratopsidae and that this debate is even underway is astounding. What a monumental waste of time with so many other problems facing us today. Therefore I advocate that we cease this nonsense and leave Triceratops to serve us as he always has."

JOHN THUNE: "How would you feel if after over 120 years of discovery and many millions of years existence you were told you didn't exist, Senator Reid, Representative Pelosi?
How do you think Mr. Triceratops feels? This can't be about the existence of Triceratops! Its obvious that he's right in front of us. The ENTIRE DINOSAUR CONGRESSIONAL CAUCUS is in front of us. Are they all myths? This nonsense absolute nonsense is politically motivated, I daresay!"

MICHAEL B. ENZI: "Besides Triceratops is cool! He always has been cool! I loved him before I worked with him. As a little kid I wished I had a pet Triceratops because his horns are so cool and his head so big. Yet for a creature with such a big head he is very humble. Allow your inner children to come out and let Triceratops stay with us. The world needs Triceratops now more than ever!"

NANCY PELOSI: "Very well we have heard the testimony of the self proclaimed mammal delegation. Have you any more witnesses Mr. Triceratops?"

TRICERATOPS: "I would like to call if I could, another of my fellow dinosaurs to testify on my behalf if it please the Congress Assembled, .Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex of Montana."

HARRY REID: "It does. You may speak, Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex. But first, a question. It seems odd that you'd be here as a friend of Triceratops. Are you two not legendary adversaries?"

TYRANNOSAURUS REX: "Absolute nonsense, I tell you, good sir! A complete fabrication perpetuated by Charlie Knight! In fact I do meet with my friend Triceratops quite frequently. Not to eat him, although he is also delicious, ahem... we always meet for tea and cookies every third Thursday of the month. Honest. That's the truth. So help me."

NANCY PELOSI: "How do you know he is delicious.... you say you don't eat him ??"

TYRANNOSAURUS REX: " I am a carnivore. That answer should be obvious; it depends on what your definition of eat is. Let me reiterate... I must insist on what I said before tea and cookies. Tea and cookies."

HADROSAURUS: "I can back that up!"

TYRANNOSAURUS REX: "Thank you, Mr. Hadrosaurus. Say, after this hearing may I meet you in your office for lunch?"

HADROSAURUS: "I'm afraid not, Mr. Tyrannosaurus Rex. That could go badly for me."

NANCY PELOSI: [ calls order with her gavel. ] "Please gentlemen. Return to the subject at hand."

TYRANNOSAURUS REX: "To conclude I am an advocate for Mr. Triceratops. We are very old friends and I will eat ... er, have tea and cookies with him anytime."

NANCY PELOSI: " Uh... all right. Mr. Triceratops, have you any more witnesses?"

TRICERATOPS: " I should like to call before the chamber my peers in the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus, who have appointed Capitalsaurus to speak for them as a whole."

HARRY REID: "Mr. Capitalsaurus, what have you to say?"

CAPITALSAURUS: "The Dinosaur Congressional Caucus is very disturbed by the fact that this hearing is taking place, but we are pleased and joyful to see so much support for our leader, the Honorable Mr. Triceratops of Wyoming. We can only concur, and speak as advocates ourselves for the wonderful things that Mr. Triceratops has done for Wyoming's dinosaurs, mammals, and environment.

I understand the position of the scientists and paleontologists; but while we do not expect special treatment for Mr. Triceratops now no matter how much a legend among us he might be, it is also very much worth pointing out that there are many other dinosaurs on our Caucus, and some who are not, that find themselves in the same position as Mr. Triceratops and Mr. Torosaurus. We may at one time believe ourselves to to be an entirely independent species, and wake up one morning to find that we are juveniles to a venerable legend such as Mr. Triceratops is. And while we value our independence, it is an honor to finally solve that piece of the puzzle of life. Examples of such among those in this Caucus include:

Astrodon and Pleurocoelus as well as Saurophaganax and Allosaurus.

A related conundrum is the fact that Hypsibema and myself are considered "dubious" because we are only partially found. And so I ask you, we all ask you, If Hypsibema and myself are considered dubious and only partially found yet we are allowed to remain in this Caucus without question, how could you declare Triceratops also dubious in the same breath? Clearly HE has been discovered completely! Look at all the work he has done as leader of this Caucus! We can't lose him! His record is exemplary! Please reconsider and leave Triceratops with us. We have never had a finer leader."

NANCY PELOSI: "Very well, thank you Capitalsaurus. Now Mr. Triceratops if you have no further witnesses for your defense we will now call our experts and paleontologists to testify on OUR behalf."

TRICERATOPS: "I have concluded my case, Madame Speaker."

HARRY REID: "We call into the Senate chamber John Scannella and Professor Jack Horner, representing Montana State University. They've published an article in Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology, which gives us reason for these hearings today."

[ John Scannella and Professor Jack Horner enter the chamber and seat themselves before Congress. ]

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "Thank you Senator Reid, Representative Pelosi. Thank you for allowing us to speak to you today about our discoveries regarding Mr. Triceratops and Mr. Torosaurus."

JOHN SCANNELLA: "I would like to make a correction to the record. I observe that it has been noted that our discovery occurred in early August. In truth, our article was published on July 14th, 2010."

NANCY PELOSI: "The record stands corrected."

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "All right. Now, the basic idea of our article, our scientific discovery is not that Triceratops does not exist AT ALL. It is simply to state that he does not exist as a species separate from Mr. Torosaurus. It seems pretty clear to us and easily explainable. I assert that while we stand solidly behind the facts of our scientific discoveries, we also find severe media distortion of the facts."

JOHN SCANNELLA: " Yes, indeed." [ takes a drink from a provided bottle of water ] "Our conclusion is being distorted to imply That Triceratops no longer exists or never existed AT ALL, when the truth is we have only discovered that what we considered for over 100 years to be a separate species was merely a juvenile."

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "We humbly suggest that Mr. Torosaurus submit to having his name decommissioned effective 30 days from the date of this hearing as has been consistent with other recent similar discoveries within the science of Paleontology. That he acquiesce to being henceforth referred to not as Torosaurus, but as Triceratops because he is merely an adult Triceratops according to the laws of science."

JOHN SCANNELLA: "I am concerned that the media distortion has come about to discredit the fine work that Mr. Triceratops has done for the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus over the years. His willingness to stand up to Big Oil and promote non fossil fuel energies I think makes him a target by the corporate powers and they are attempting to discredit him and his attempt to liberate Dinosaurs."

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "Yes there are indeed many who, because of corporate interests are pretending to be on the side of Dinosaurs and care about the issues that they care about because we, that is, John and I, see his work presents a threat to corporate interests."

HARRY REID: "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Uh, aren't you here to defend the position of the full Senate? How could you as scientists question the benevolence of our position?"

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "With all due respect Senator, we must say that as scientists John and I believe in the liberty of Dinosaurs as well as human mammals."

JOHN SCANNELLA: "Yes it is sad and discouraging to see such an honorable creature's intentions distorted. He is at the head of a movement which began with such promise and hope now corrupted and the majority of people believe it stands for things which are the exact opposite of the principles it started with."

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: " And that those who profess to be forward thinking and open minded in this country are so set in their ways that they believe this distortion and lack the willingness to be objective and discover for themselves the truth and realities of the problems that Dinosaurs face, and that mammals face as well."

JOHN SCANNELLA: "It must be made clear that as Americans we believe in personal liberty and that freedom requires individual responsibility, knowledge and involvement, not blind trust in a distant power..... a distant power which is merely a limited number of supposed intelligencia with an improved opinion of their importance treating people and Dinosaurs as if they are stupid and incapable of the responsibility of self governance."

PROFESSOR JACK HORNER: "For -- "

NANCY PELOSI: "I think, Gentlemen, pardon me, Professor Horner, but I believe our interview is finished. Thank you for your time."

HARRY REID: "Well, " [ sighs ] It appears that no one is on our side. The debate has concluded. Let a vote be called."

*************************************************************************************

" I am told," said Stegosaurus, "That the vote in favor of Triceratops' existence was honest to goodness unanimous. It was also unanimous that he should retain the emoluments of his office. I am so pleased!"

2010-10-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

2010-09-21T18:42:00.000-04:00

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Stegosaurus Claus!"

2010-09-19T11:23:00.002-04:00

"It has been hard work fighting fires in Colorado," said Stegosaurus.

"I've been a little scared too ... you know like my brother horse I'm really nervous around flames. In my film The Lost World I spent a lot of time running away from fires you know so this is a way of facing my fears. I'm so proud of the local mammals; they're so brave! With one fire out, and the second 65 % contained, I've recieved permission to stomp forthrightly back to medical school, which starts Monday."

"Recently, I have received a request for assistance from my brother and friend the Honorable Congresssaurus Triceratops of Wyoming, who is the senior member and spokesman of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. It seems that Congress has plans to hold hearings which will determine if he should continue in his position and retain his committee assignment. This was brought about because of his recent appearance in the news; it seems his very existence is now up for debate so he has asked his friends to advocate for him. I cannot appear in person, but I will write him a letter of support! I hope all this gets worked out; mammals argue over the silliest things."

2010-09-16T08:26:00.001-04:00

"My summer job in Eureka Springs, Arkansas was a lot of fun!" said Stegosaurus. "Bringing my favorite opera, Scott Joplin's Treemonisha to life was a great experience! My supervisors were determined to present a purist production, so they didn't agree to my suggestion of replacing the dancing bears with dancing Stegosaurids, but I still enjoyed myself immensely. My job has given me enough resources to return to medical school, when the next semester opens on September 20th. "

"Right now I am updating my blog from my native state. I'm in Boulder, Colorado, to try my claw at being a firefighter. I stomped up here forthrightly after my summer job ended, for as soon as I heard about the terrible fires I wanted to do what I could to help the valiant and brave mammals of my homeland."

"I've been appointed to eliminate fuel for the blaze by eating away the brush."

2010-08-28T10:08:00.002-04:00

Study: Climate Change Affects Geographical Range of Plants

Triceratops Never Existed

Torosaurus Never Existed

First Method For Directly Measuring Body Temperatures of Extinct Vertebrates

First complete skeleton of Typothorax found!

NEW DINOSAURS:

Medusaceratops

( check back in 119 years to see if he's just another Triceratops )

Coahuilaceratops

( unless he's just another Triceratops )

2010-07-25T22:18:00.002-04:00

Stegosaurus held a press conference this afternoon in Eureka Springs, Arkansas to express the profound sorrow he feels upon the extinction of his friend Daniel Schorr.

"It is with deepest solemnity I express my condolences to the Schorr family," said the bereaved plate lizard. "Mr. Schorr's coverage of my failed 2008 Colorado Senate campaign was, as with all of his work, fair and just, and his manner of reporting news as fact is in the modern age rare. The modern news climate seems so toxic to civility and truth! It is regrettable that Mr. Schorr's method of reporting is not more common as it should be, since we need objectivity more than ever."

"I can remember the day he began his career, which was not really that long ago, if you measure time as dinosaurs do.... but even to me it seems like he's always been there for us all. As if he could have reported the day that Eusthenopteron crawled out of the sea for the first time. How sad it will be never to hear his voice again! How deeply he will be missed by all his friends and all the world."

2010-07-24T22:08:00.005-04:00

"I've stomped forthrightly into Arkansas for my summer job," announced Stegosaurus.

"I have a summer internship at Opera in the Ozarks in Eureka Springs as chief landscaper and set designer. I hope its not too much to ask as I've just begun, but I've got my heart set on suggesting they add a performance of my favorite opera Scott Joplin's Treemonisha, to their 2010 calendar.

In addition to my landscaping duties, I've humbly suggested one small change to the story. In place of the dancing bears scene I've suggested there be a dancing Stegosaurus! I've become well known for my dancing skills; I'm sure it will take off and be a big hit!"

2010-07-06T20:15:00.002-04:00

This Prehistoric Whale Ate Other Whales For Breakfast

Got Health Problems? Blame Your Inner Fish

Finding Your Inner Fish: The Human Edge

Jurassic Fast Food

2010-06-21T20:42:00.000-04:00

Bonjour je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!

Depuis le mois de Novembre, 2009, je suis très occupé avec mes préparations de mon mariage à ma chérie Lexovissaurus. En ce moment je me prépare à entreprendre avant mon mariage un des plus importants rituels. Nous allons nous marier en France, mais aujourd’hui je marche d’un pas lourd à travers le pays de la Suisse.
En particulier en Montreux. Peut-être vous vous demandez pourquoi je suis ici en Suisse quand je suis entrain de faire mes plans pour mon mariage en France. Quoique nous appréciions nos amis internationaux, nous sommes tous au courant que la France est supérieure à beaucoup d’autres pays. Nous avons la Seine, le Louvre, l’Arc de Triomphe, et la Tour Eiffel. Nous avons une merveilleuse cuisine et les plus romantiques couchers du soleil. Mais il est très important que je vienne à Montreux avant mon mariage et ceci doit être fait pour assurer le succès de mon mariage.

Pourquoi maintenant? Vous vous demandez. Eh bien, ceci est embarrassant à admettre, mais je n’ai jamais gradué du Lycée d’ Art et d’Agrément. Je ne suis pas sûr de tous les protocoles dans tous les convenables endroits et je dois vous dire que je faisais semblant de tout savoir pour au moins les dernières 165 million d’années. Parce que j’adore ma fiancée et je veux que notre mariage réussisse, je vais joyeusement prendre ce cours à l’Institut Villa Pierrefeux pour une période de 6 mois. J’espère de vraiment apprendre quelque chose des classes intitulées: "Vos Dagues et Difficiles Situations Sociales." et "Entrer dans une Salle Pleine de Porcelaine Quand Vous Avez Une Super Piquante Queue."

Je suis très nerveux, souhaitez-moi bonne chance!

2010-06-05T14:10:00.001-04:00

"I recently celebrated my birthday on June 1st, " remarked Stegosaurus happily. "I feel that I'm in really good shape and quite active for someone who has attained the age of 140 million and 4. It must be a combination of my diet and mild mannered demeanor which contrubutes to my longevity. Truth be told, I don't like cake too much, but the term "birthday conifer" doesn't have the right ring to it. Birthday cake is the established tradition. As an ancient animal, I am particularly fond of ancient tradition and don't change my ways easily."

2010-05-20T18:32:00.001-04:00

"I am pretty sure I met Marilyn Maxwell the other day!" declared Stegosaurus. "I wasn't sure at first, and I wish I had thought to ask her to sing, but I was so surprised and nervous I wasn't myself. She has aged well. Marilyn is stunning for a mammal who is 89 years old!"

"I told her," swooned the love struck dinosaur, 'Golly gee, Miss Maxwell its nice to finally meet you! I'm your biggest fan! I know that's probably obvious because I'm 9 feet tall and 30 feet long, but Oh my gosh....'"

"Then," continued the smitten plate lizard, "She kissed me, and I forgot all about singing, dancing, eating plants, anything else that had been important to me up to that point. I'm so sure its her !! "

"When I told my cousin Lexovissaurus, ( which I couldn't wait to do, since he once thought her extinct, ) I heard him tell his fiancé Loricatosaurus: "Je pense qu'il est fou de courir après les mammifères,", but I don't care! I'm in love, and I'm pretty sure after that kiss Marilyn loves me too! "

2010-04-30T23:42:00.002-04:00

"I celebrated my favorite holiday of the year - Arbor Day - by enjoying a nice meal of Pinus Strobus," said Stegosaurus.

"It was great consolation for the fact that I cannot attend the Stegosaurus Races this year because I got a splinter in my left rear claw, and its a little sore! For that reason I was scratched from the race. Oh well. There's always next year!"

2010-04-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

Why Did So Many Dinosaurs Die In One Spot?

Abydosaurus: New Dinosaur Discovered Head First For A Change

New Dinosaur From Utah's Red Rocks: Seit'aad

New Bird Fossil Hints At More Undiscovered Chinese Treasures

2010-03-27T16:27:00.002-04:00

"With the economy in the situation it is in I've had to drop out of medical school for the time being," said Stegosaurus. "Consequently this has given me the time to stomp forthrightly into the State of California. Later today I'm going to stop by the home office of the Dinosaur & Mythical Creature Screen Actors' Guild in Hollywood.

I'm going to talk to the board of directors and see if I can act as an advocate for my friend Dimetrodon, who is in need of a pension.

You see, Dimetrodon is in a bit of a quandry because he's done the work; he's appeared in all kinds of movies and TV shows; but he is neither mythical nor a dinosaur. That's right, he's not a dinosaur. A lot of mammals think he's a dinosaur because we dinosaurs let him hang out with us a lot but Dimetrodon isn't a dinosaur.... he's a synapsid !

As a result he doesn't have a pension. Dimetrodon is starting to get on in years now; he's 120 million years older than I am, and I believe we dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures should look out for each other. Our elders particularly are deserving of care. Dimetrodon is a little odd, with his mammalian characteristics, but he's a really nice guy. He's a true friend with all he was met and I'd really like to give him a helping claw."

2010-02-14T08:55:00.002-05:00

"I'm thrilled!" said Stegosaurus. "My cousin Lexovissaurus is getting married to his girl friend Loricatosaurus! They've been dating for 6 months, and that's an unusually short period to jump from courting to marriage; It's not even mating season for another three months! Its customary to wait at least a million years or two, but they have a special relationship, and I'm sure it will last. I'm so happy I think I'll go out to a garden center and dance the lindy hop!"

Bonjour je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

Il y a longtemps que je n’ai pas posté sur mon blog parce ce que, bien, j’ai passé beaucoup de temps avec Loricatosaurus, et nous avons fait des choses qui ne doivent pas être mentionnées en société.....

Cependant, je veux faire une très spéciale déclaration. Loricatosaurus et moi avons passé beaucoup de temps ensemble, en buvant du vin, mangeant du fromage, allant à l’opéra et en aiguisant mutuellement nos supers piquantes queues. Nous avons semé des gardiens, planté des arbres, et nous les avons mangé. Nous avons passé un agréable 6 mois ensemble.

Finalement, durant une de nos soirées, j’ai amené Loricatosaurus au village de Saint Paul de Vence, où après un délicieux repas d’érables avec du fromage nous avons regardé le couché du soleil. Et puis à la faible lumière du jour, comme le soleil se donne à la nuit, j’ai demandé à Loricatosaurus sa griffe en mariage. J’étais fou de joie quand elle a accepté et nous avons fixé la date pour le 14 Novembre, 2010. Il me semble que c’est loin, mais nous avons beaucoup des amis et de la parenté et nous voulons être sure qu’ils peuvent tous venir et passer une spéciale journée avec nous.

2010-01-26T09:46:00.001-05:00

"I thought I might share some clips from the movie that scuttled my Senate campaign," said Stegosaurus. "I don't regret it at all. In fact I may consider running for the Senate again after I finish eating a nice meal of Dionaea muscipula."

2010-01-20T23:13:00.001-05:00

Early Carnivorous Dinosaur Crossed Continents, Alters Evolutionary Tree

Dinosaur May Have Used Venom To Kill Prey

The Moa Bird Lives Again!

2010-01-16T22:03:00.001-05:00

"A very special thank you to the 21,000 mammals who came out to see me and my friends at the Walking With Dinosaurs Arena show in Virginia!" said Stegosaurus. "Although I was so pleased to see you all, I had heard that Marilyn Maxwell was going to be there so I put a lot of extra effort into sharpening my cool, spiky tail, and making sure my spiff, sexy plates were really spiff and sexy ... but she didn't show. Marilyn didn't arrive. I was so disappointed. She must be a very patriotic person to go on so many USO tours."

"There were pictures taken," continued Stegosaurus, regaining a cheerful demeanor. "Here's one of me engaging in one of my favorite pastimes, eating plants and roots."

"Here is another great picture of me; I must admit I look really good for somebody just over 140 million. Do you see that crazy mammal who is also in the picture? He's lucky he wasn't stomped on forthrightly by accident because he insisted upon walking about and talking about us. For some reason he kept insisting we were extinct which is silly! We're standing right in front of him! In fact, one of the Velociraptors almost ate our mammalian narrator. I'd have liked to speak for myself, but it wasn't in my contract. It really frustrates me that I never get enough speaking roles."

"The last photo is of my brother Allosaurus chasing me. He's pretending he wants to eat me again. Sigh. This kind of sibling rivalry has been going on for millions of years."

"Thank you again everyone for coming out to see us! I had a great time with you and all of my friends."

2009-12-18T16:47:00.003-05:00

WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!

The Must-See Theatrical Event For All Ages!

WVTF and Radio IQ are offering a chance to win free tickets to this event for those who subscribe to our e-Newsletter. Each of the eight winners will receive four tickets to see Walking with Dinosaurs at the Roanoke Civic Center. If you have already signed up for our e-Newsletter, you are in the running to win.

Enter to win four tickets to the Roanoke Civic Center for Walking with Dinosaurs. Join now!!

___________________________________________

After years of planning, the award-winning BBC TV series, Walking with Dinosaurs comes to life in a stunning theatrical event.

Internationally renowned designers have worked with scientists to create 15 life-size dinosaurs, including the terror of the ancient terrain, Tyrannosaurus-rex! Be amazed and thrilled as the greatest creatures ever to walk the earth return before your eyes.

It’s a dazzling 10 million pound arena spectacle of unprecedented size and quality set to captivate young and old alike. Marvel at the story of their 200 million year domination of life on earth. Watch them walk. Hear the roar. Be there as they fight for survival and supremacy. From the ripple of their skin to the glint in their eye, you will know the dinosaurs really have returned! So make sure you have your seat to see the return of the dinosaurs!

Dates: 8th - 10th January 2010

Performance times:
Friday, 8th - 7pm
Saturday, 9th - 11am / 3pm / 7pm
Sunday, 10th - 1pm / 5pm

For tickets and additional information , click here: ON SALE NOW!

Contact: 1800-856-8900

WVTF PUBLIC RADIO FM

2009-12-18T07:55:00.000-05:00

ACT NOW FOR HOLIDAY CHEER THIS YEAR !!! BUY STEGOSAURUS' NEWEST WAX CYLINDER: CHRISTMAS B.C. !!!

FEATURING THESE HOLIDAY FAVORITES WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE:

1. O' Christmas Tree ( english )
2. O' Tannenbaum ( german )
3. O' Fir Tree Dark
4. Is Christmas Only A Tree?
5. Round & Round The Christmas Tree
6. Round Round The Christmas Tree
7. Rockin' Round The Christmas Tree
8. Aspenglow
9. The Cherry Tree Carol
10. It Doesn't Cost A Dime To Dream ( With Renee Fleming )
11. Silver Bells ( With Renee Fleming)

"I've finally recovered from my stomachache!" declared Stegosaurus happily. "It was an embarrassing mistake for someone with a degree in Horticulture Consumption, but I've learned the hard way not to eat another Lyonia ferruginea any time soon! Right now I'm in New York working with Ms. Renee Fleming on promotional spots for my latest wax cylinder, which I hope will give you and your family many wonderful memories you will treasure for millions of years. Then in a day or two I am returning to Cuba so I can spend the holidays at my School of Dance. Rhedosaurus has been patiently waiting there for waltzing lessons.

In the new year I'll stomp forthrightly into Virginia so I can take part in the Walking With Dinosaurs Tour!

All my best friends will be there! Will you?"

2009-12-08T08:05:00.001-05:00

Stegosaurus Claus' Great North American Holiday Mall Tour 2009

Be good girls and boys, and perhaps Stegosaurus Claus will visit your house on Christmas Eve to leave you presents!!

Check to see when the jolly ornithischian Stegosaurus Stenops is visiting your town!!

A highlight list of the places on the itenerary!

Flat Iron Crossing, Boulder, Colorado

Fashion Show Mall, Las Vegas, Nevada

Westfield San Francisco Centre, San Francisco, California

Lloyd Center Mall, Portland, Oregon

Corncord Mills, Concord, North Carolina

Fayette Mall, Lexington, Kentucky

Valley View Mall, Roanoke, Virginia

Pheasant Lane Mall, Nashua, New Hampshire

The Mall of New London, New London, Connecticut

Arundel Mills, Hanover, Maryland

Westfield Annapolis Shopping Town, Annapolis, Maryland

And that's not all! Keep an eye on announcements to be made in your town!!

Season's Greetings to you and your family!!

2009-11-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

"Oh, my aching stomach!" complained Stegosaurus. "It seems that while looking for the Franklinia alatamaha my appetite, as it usually does, got the better of me and I accidentially ate a Lyonia ferruginea. I am now quite under the weather, and Rhedosaurus is going to have to be patient and wait for his waltzing lessons. I hope he understands, as he is already in Cuba waiting for me. Maybe he can relax and smoke cigars with Raoul and Fidel until I can get down to my School of Dance.

If any one would like to send get well wishes to my email address I'd really appreciate it!"

2009-11-16T21:48:00.000-05:00

Ray Harryhausen's NEW Official Website!

2009-11-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

"The fall college semester has been keeping me busy and away from my blog," said Stegosaurus. "Upon my return from Colorado I met up with my class and we stomped up to Maine to identify and eat the Chionanthus virginicus, and then on down to Florida where we will look to see if we can find the elusive Franklinia alatamaha which hasn't been seen in the wild since 1790. Seems like only yesterday to me, but for mammals that is a long time."

"While in Maine I recieved a letter from my friend Rhedosaurus, whom I last saw this summer in London at Ray Harryhausen's 89th birthday party. Rhedosaurus said he'd like to get out some and meet a few girl Rhedosaurids before he becomes extinct. 'Lighthouses just aren't doing it for me anymore,' he says ...

"Alas, he is socially awkward and shy.. I told him that dancing is a useful skill for flirting with the ladies, and offered to give him waltzing lessons if he'd go on down to Cuba and meet me after the Thanksgiving break. He agreed, so for the rest of the month, Waltzing lessons will be half off at the Stegosaurus School of Dance!"

2009-10-21T18:03:00.000-04:00

"Hey dude, I'm gonna turn my car into a Stegosaurus!"

"Ya, absolutely. I honestly can't think of anything else to spend your money on. Probably one of the best investments you can make actually. You're gonna get so much tail in that thing."

Missouri

2009-10-21T17:41:00.000-04:00

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

2009-10-14T01:21:00.000-04:00

Even Tyrannosaurus Rex Started Small

Moa Birds II: The Return of Big Bird

2009-09-24T21:07:00.003-04:00

"Having finally completed my 300 page essay on the Alnus Maritima, I've left Oklahoma and am now in my home state of Colorado engaging in a bit of small business enterprise," said Stegosaurus.

"Today I have founded The Stegosaurus Construction Company.

I know with the financial markets the way they are today it does not seem like now is the time to go into the construction business, but I can guarantee you that you will have a job with my company! This is provided that you do not mind your boss having a cool, spiky tail! "

"Our motto: ROOFING IS OUR SPECIALTY !"

As always, Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.

"Actually, school keeps me quite busy," continued the loquatious roof - lizard. "When I leave Colorado I have to go to Maine and study the Chionanthus virginicus, and then I have to stomp down to Florida and see if my class and I can find the elusive Franklinia alatamaha. This is all in addition to my job as Hokie Bird protector, and its that time of season again! It seems the life of a Stegosaurus is always busy !"

2009-09-14T09:16:00.000-04:00

J’ai rencontré la plus belle Stégosaures! Elle s’appelle Loricatosaurus et elle est aussi belle quelle est intelligente. Elle est sexé, la plus sexy de toutes celles que j’ai vues. Elle admire beaucoup mes épatantes sexy plaques! Elles pensent qu’ils sont les plus attrayantes qu’elle a jamais vues. Oh ! Et est-ce que j’ai mentionné, elle aime le fromage ! Quelle perfection!

Nous nous sommes rencontrés à l’Opéra. Je vous le dit, ce n’était pas une Opéra Française vraiment, mais c’était Gaetano Donizetti L'elisir d'amore, qui était très approprié. Elle était sur le balcon et a vue mes épatantes sexy plaques de l’autre côté du théâtre. Je sais que c’était l’amour au premier regard. Elle est descendue du balcon pour me parler et pour ce présenté, quand je l’ai vue je suis tombé en amour, immédiatement.

Je me demandais comment elle pourrait être intéressé à moi, avec la sature et condition de vie quelle vivait ; mais quand j’y pense, c’est facilement expliqué par le fait que je suis Français.

Et depuis ce temps nous avons fait tout ensemble. Nous aimons les fougères et conifères avec du fromage (J’essais de lui trouvé les plus grosses), des marches, par la lumière de la lune, près de la Seine. Nous lisons Guillaume de Machaut, Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Gustave Flaubert et Victor Hugo; quand nous avons des sentiments amoureux.... nous lisons Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. Nous aimons écouter Fréderic Chopin, Gabriel Faure, et Maurice Duruflé. Oh ! Nous avons beaucoup en commun c’est stupéfiant. Elle s’exprime clairement et aisément. J’ai hâte de la présenter à mes cousins!

2009-08-12T00:35:00.000-04:00

Triple Fossil Find Puts Australia Back On The Dinosaur Map

2009-07-21T09:55:00.001-04:00

"My visit to London was very pleasant," said Stegosaurus. It was nice to see my friend Ray Harryhausen and to help him celebrate his 89th birthday. How nice of him to tell me how beautiful I am! He also remarked that since my successful diet my legs no longer look like sausages!! The plate - lift and pedicure I got for my birthday a few years ago really paid off ! My cousins will be so pleased!"

"I'm back in the States at last, now in Oklahoma. School has started again and my class and I have to write a 300 page essay on the theories surrounding the existence of the Alnus Maritima in this area. I haven't yet figured out how this type of tree got to growing here, but nonetheless they are very pleasing to the palate."

2009-07-03T18:56:00.001-04:00

Today Wuerhosaurus' junk boat arrived from China. He had come to Louisville, Kentucky for the Stegosaurus Races. Realizing that he was a bit late for the races, he stomped on over to Lexington, having heard rumors of a delicious arboretum nearby. He had heard it said that the mammals of Lexington were very friendly and cordial.

The city authorities, however, asked him to leave when he attempted sunbathing in the historic city cemetery.

2009-06-22T10:30:00.002-04:00

My birdwatching vacation in New Zealand was very nice," said Stegosaurus. "The Giant Moas and I had some great times. Now I'm updating my blog on my laptop while I'm on a raft. It's just a short trip to London to help my friend Ray Harryhausen celebrate his 89th birthday on June 29th.

July 6th I'll be back in the States for the start of the summer semester.

Earlier today I got an email from my Nigerian cousin Kentrosaurus:

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.

HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.

PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR CLEMENT OKON

NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.

" It looks like he's trying to supplement his military pension again," said Stegosaurus. "He's my cousin and I love him, but Kentrosaurus can sometimes be a real con artist!!"

****************
Yes, this is a joke. For more information on the "Nigerian / 419 Scam visit snopes.com here

From that website here's an important note from Barbara Mikkelson:

The Secret Service asks if you have been victimized by the Nigerian scam to forward appropriate written documentation to the United States Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20223, or telephone (202) 406-5850, or contact by e-mail. Per their automated response system, they no longer want faxed copies of the various Nigerian scams.

However, it needs be pointed out there is only so much the Secret Service or any law enforcement agency can do if the perpetrators of the scam are not within their jurisdiction. Your local police department cannot send officers to Nigeria to arrest the fellows who are attempting to con you out of your life savings any more than Nigerian police could show up on your doorstep to put the handcuffs on you.

Folks angered by Nigerian scam come-ons often want to see justice done and done quickly, yet often there is little that can be done because those behind the thefts are in other parts of the world. Ergo, the best protection is an awareness that the laws of your country are not always enforceable in other lands, so it behooves to you always proceed with caution when dealing with people or business entities in foreign locales.

Barbara "fraud gods" Mikkelson

2009-06-04T18:55:00.000-04:00

" After celebrating my 140 million and third birthday in Spain and cutting the ribbon on the Stegosaurus School of Dance there, I stomped on down to New Zealand to spend the rest of my college break birdwatching for The Giant Moa and / or Haast's Eagles," said Stegosaurus. After relaxing it will be time to return to The States for my second semester of college."

2009-05-17T23:38:00.001-04:00

"My first semester of college is over!" announced Stegosaurus. "To celebrate I've taken some time off and stomped on over to Spain, where the biggest Stegosaurus footprint has been found. You see that was before my diet.

I am building a branch of the Stegosaurus School of Dance here, so I'll be in Spain for a while. To mark this occasion, Flamenco dancing will be half off for the month of May.

Also, to honor my friend Frankie "Musclehead" Manning who became extinct on April 28th, all Lindy Hop dance lessons are half off as well. It is a shame that mammals become extinct so young; he was only 94. "

2009-05-03T17:16:00.003-04:00

The Stegosaurus Races

Mark Johnson: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Stegosaurus Races at Church hill downs, in Louisville, Kentucky We welcome you to this storied event, millions of years older than another race held here which involves horses, to watch Stegosaurus and his cousins race at Church hill downs. We have at the starting gate, the large, lovable Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado, USA, Kentrosaurus of Kenya, Africa; Stegosaurus Claus of Brazil, and Lexovissaurus of France. We inform you with much regret that Wuerhosaurus of China had intended to participate, but he is coming by slow boat, which being aptly named has yet to arrive. The Stegosaurids wait at the gate for the race to begin."

In the growing crowd of race attendees milling about waiting for the Kentucky Derby ( involving horses ) to begin, was a Mr. Herring and a Ms. Scott leading their cat, Na Nyuk Fish, on a leash. None of the people in the crowd seemed to be looking at the racing field of Stegosaurids; as they were all too busy standing around drinking Mint Juleps and talking about horse bloodlines and horse sperm, two very popular topics which precede any horse race. This was not the case for Mr. Herring.

Mark Johnson: "And, they're off! ..... Stegosaurus at first in the lead, Kentrosaurus at the outside, Stegosaurus Claus and Lexovissaurus bringing up the rear. Aren't they odd, ladies and gentlemen, watching them race about the track.... and what a thunderous commmotion it causes! At the first turn now, Kentrosaurus takes the lead, Stegosaurus now in second place. Lexovissaurus keeping good pace beside Stegosaurus Claus. This is a sight that has to be seen to be believed. "

"Look!" exclaims Mr. Herring, pointing out to the track just as the racing dinosaurs turn the corner. "Stegosaurus! Stegosaurus on the track!"

Ms. Scott looks but sees nothing. " I think you've had too many Mint Juleps," rejoined Mr. Herring's interlocutoress.

Mark Johnson: "And we're now in the home stretch! Lexovissaurus is picking up his pace, leaving Stegosuarus Claus in the dust! Kentrosaurus is barely in the lead, with Stegosaurus falling firmly into the second position! Here comes Lexovissaurus now ladies and gentlemen! Really picking up speed! And its Lexovissaurus by a nose / beak, with Kentrosaurus in second place, Stegosaurus is third, and Stegosaurus Claus fourth. That's it, ladies and gentlemen, Lexovissaurus of France is the winner!
So félicitations to Lexovissaurus of France!"

Stegosaurus Races Press Confrence, May 2nd 2009 Church hill downs, Louisville, KY

Stegosaurus: My cousins and I have called this press confrence today to express our joy at attending the annual Stegosaurus races yet again, and to set the record straight regarding a misconception.

Please welcome to our press conference today in addtion to myself my cousin Kentrosaurus, of Africa, my cousin Lexovissaurus, of France and our friend and benefactor who has come from Brazil, Stegosaurus Claus. It was very nice of him to take time out of his busy schedule of making toys for all the good boys and girls of the world to speak with us today.

We regret to tell you that our cousin Wuerhosaurus of China wanted to be here but he is not. He wanted to race, but left China by a slow boat which has yet to arrive.

collective sigh of regret from the audience.

Kentrosaurus: Thank you for attending today.

Lexovissaurus : Je suis heureux d’être ici aujourd’hui.

Stegosaurus Claus: I'm glad to be here as well. I might have left Brazil, but I'm still making a list and checking it twice, even now. So, be good!

Stegosaurus: The first statement we'd like to make is that we sure have enjoyed racing today, We can race pretty fast for such awkward creatures goodness knows, especially Lexovissaurus who won the race.... but we'd all like to make a joint statement that even though we have 8 points of similarity with our good brother horse and we are easily confused with him....

Kentrosaurus: The similarity is very striking. If we're grazing in a field together its very hard to tell us apart. I invited our sister Quagga over for Christmas, and our neighbors were totally confused.

Stegosaurus: .... yes, and even though some places in these parts like to think so we'd all like to release a joint statement that, unlike our brother horse, we have never ever, worn saddles of any type. Not western, not english, not australian... none at all.

Lexovissaurus: Absolument aucun ne me convient. Je n’ai jamais porté de selles. Jamais. Je ne suis pas comme mon Cousin Américain, je n’ai pas beaucoup d’épatantes sexy plaques et je ne veux pas les couvrir avec un inconfortable truc fait de peaux mammifères. J’ai déjà fait une observation de ceci, c’est que pas seulement ne portons-nous de selles, nous les Stégosaures ne portons pas de chapeaux. Pas jamais, pas du tout .....

Kentrosaurus pokes Lexovissaurus... Um, cousin... don't look now, but, well, we have a Stegosaurid with us....

Stegosaurus Claus: ...who happens to be an exception to the norm. You can't help but notice, Lexovissarus, that I always wear hats.

Lexovissaurus: blushing ... Je veux avoir des cadeaux pour Noël, alors, je reconnais mon erreur. Je reconnais mon erreur. Et j’aimerais aussi aujourd’hui dire que je suis fier d’avoir gagné la course, de cette ancienne tradition qui est répéter depuis plus de 160 millions d’années. Merci pour vos applaudissements et vos félicitations. Hourra pour la France ! J’aimerais faire don de mes gains de la course aujourd’hui à Bethlehem Farms, pas long d’ici à Lexington. Cela va les aider à fournir des soins pour les chevaux de mon frère qui ont eu de la malchance.

crowd applause.

Stegosaurus: Thank you, thank you all. Now if the press will excuse us, as grass is one of the finest new inventions of our modern age, we must go forthwith to trim the lawn at the Ashland estate in Lexington; and I understand that there is a very big arboretum nearby there which looks very delicious.
If you will, please excuse us....

Stegosaurus Claus: Thank you for coming to our races today. I'll see you Christmas Eve, if you all are good!

Kentrosaurus: I was very pleased to take part in the races today. Thank you for attending.

Lexovissaurus: Je vous remercie tous pour être venu. Maintenant je ne c’est pas ce que vous allez faire, mais moi je vais avoir du fromage avec mon pâturin ......

2009-04-25T13:40:00.001-04:00

"After my class and I unsuccessfully tried to topple a Sequoiadendron giganteum ( they were just too tall, even for four of us. ) We left California and all stomped up into Canada to dine on some pinus contorta and to visit with my Canadian friend Styracosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"We celebrated the holiday sacred to herbivorous dinosaurs everywhere: Arbor Day. Though he was glad to see me, Styracosaurus chastised me for missing out on the annual King Kong Dinosaur Cast Reunion this year. There's no doubt about it....! The life of a Stegosaurus, ( especially if he's in graduate school. ) is very busy indeed."

2009-04-15T07:35:00.000-04:00

Fossil Hints At Fuzzy Dinosaurus

2009-04-04T10:00:00.001-04:00

A Simple Method For Determining The Sex Of Your Pet Stegosaurus

Are you confused about the sex of your pet Stegosaurus?

Well there is an easy method to use for determination that works at least 50 % of the time.

Watch the movie Champion with your pet Stegosaurus.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over Marilyn Maxwell, its a boy.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over Kirk Douglas, its a girl.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over both of these celebrites there is a good chance that your Stegosaurus is bisexual.

Determining homosexuality in Stegosaurids is much more difficult because as a general rule they believe in the don't ask don't tell policy.

This method works 50% of the time, since a majority of Stegosaurids are easily enamoured with celebrity pop culture. Once this happens, it is difficult ( but not impossible ) to get them interested in their own species again.

Good luck!

2009-03-21T09:30:00.004-04:00

"I've been out in California studying trees of the Pacific Coast for college," said Stegosaurus. Wonderful pines, like pinus abicaulis, pinus aristata, and pinus pungens. Not to mention the delicious Pinyons...

Since I've become an arborist I've really come to care about trees not just because they are delicious but because they are unique and beautiful in their own way.

It is on this principle that I've decided I can no longer eat any of the Ginkgoaceae, or the Juglandaceae.

This is a decision which disturbs my poor cousin Lexovissaurus, who when he heard of my decision wrote to say,

"Que-es-ce que tu as?!? Premièrement tu es tombé en amour avec la mammifère Marilyn Maxwell et tu ne considère pas avoir un rendez-vous avec une de ton espèce, et maintenant tu ne veux pas manger certain arbres!?!
Les arbres Ginko sont délicieux, et ils y ont toujours été! Pourquoi tu te réveillerais un matin et décide de ne pas les manger parce que cette espèce d’arbre était là avant que tu laisse ta coquille , c’est au-delà de ma compréhension! J’admets, que ma compréhension est limité, mais qu’en même …… et des noyers! Et que-ce qu’il y a de mal avec des noyers?!! Ils sont délicieux même sans du fromage! Je jure, si tu n’étais pas mon cousin je te frapperais sur la tête avec ma cool, tranchante queue! Cela pourrait mettre du bon sens dans ta tête!"

2009-03-08T16:29:00.001-04:00

48 New Dinosaur Species Discovered By UK Scientist

2009-02-23T23:22:00.001-05:00

"I have been quite busy in my first semester of graduate school," said Stegosaurus. "It's been tough. My first test was on conifers, and I got nervous and overconfident...I thought I'd do a lot better because I've been eating conifers since I came out of my shell...but I got so nervous that I confused the Eastern White Pine ( pinus strobus) and an introduced species, the Austrian Pine, or ( pinus nigra ). It was very embarrassing. My research was faulty, even after more than 140 million years.

Also, my class went on a field trip to identify some gymnosperms, and we identified the Ginko biloba from the Ginkgoaceae ;

Many thought they were delicious, and in my youth I remember them as being quite so; but these days I can't eat them out of principle. I have a lot of respect for a tree species 10 million years older than I am."

2009-02-10T11:48:00.001-05:00

At 2,500 Pounds And 43 Feet, Prehistoric Snake Is Largest On Record

2009-01-15T08:55:00.000-05:00

Stegosaurus held a press confrence on Wednesday to announce his endorsement of the Fabri-Kal company. "I have started my second job as an arborist," said Stegosaurus. "....and as a steward of the environment I feel it is important to endorse those corporate entities who share my vision of a clean and green America. I am proud to endorse the Fabri-Kal company for its commitment to environmentally concious products that help reduce waste and preserve trees for future generations of Americans to enjoy and for future generations of hungry Stegosaurids to eat."

2009-01-14T09:18:00.001-05:00

"My New Year's resolution for 2008 was successful!" exclaimed Stegosaurus happily. "I've lost the last half ton! I feel great! I'm a fit and trim 6,800 tons now! Just where I want to be!"

"The economic situation in the country today has caused me to look at going to medical school," Stegosaurus continued. "It's hard for a Stegosaurus to make a living just in Horticulture Consumption or Hokie Bird Protecting so I am looking to expand my horizons at the Asplundh Tree Management Services Company. Wish me luck!

2008-12-24T20:15:00.001-05:00

"The popularity of my performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker has necessitated the addition of dates through the holiday weekend, so I am still in New York," said Stegosaurus.

"I got Christmas cards from my cousins. Lexovissaurus' card just said Joyeux Noel!, but Kentrosaurus had a lot of news to relate.

He told me that he'd applied to march in the Innaugural Parade for US President Barack Obama, and he thought certaintly that he'd be accepted.

He's from Kenya, and the President - elect has family in Kenya. He also thought that his status as a World War II veteran ( he served in the little known Battle of Humboldt Museum ) would elevate his chances.

But unfortunately apparently the President - elect's transition staff did not take his application seriously and declined it.

He's always felt the world did not appreciate his service in the second World War, since he was so severely injured in the Battle of Humboldt Museum, and never recieved a Purple Heart. Now this happened so he was very sad about the rejection. I told him I was very proud of his time spent in the military; I spent most of my time during the War Years on the Homefront trying not to eat my victory garden. Kentrosaurus always has been braver than I am.

Kentrosaurus is planning to invite our sister Quagga over for Christmas dinner --- She is also a veteran of the Battle of Humboldt Museum -- and he said he's felt inspired by the generosity of the season to invite our friend Spinosaurus, if he promises to be a good dinosaur and not eat them all. Kentrosaurus would like to have a nice veteran's reunion.

I have to run now I'm on the stage in 15 minutes! There's a lot of work to do before Stegosaurus Claus comes tonight!"

2008-12-23T22:53:00.001-05:00

Dinosaur Dads Cared For Young, Researchers Say

2008-12-15T20:38:00.002-05:00

"Late Sunday afternoon, after my final successful performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker at New York's Radio City Music Hall, I stomped over to Macy's Department Store to visit with Stegosaurus Claus," said Stegosaurus. "I couldn't wait to tell him what I'd like for Christmas!"

"You've been a good dinosaur so far," Stegosaurus Claus told me; "You've eaten lots and lots of trees, and haven't intentionally killed anyone with your cool, spiky tail yet this year!" I was so proud. After the meeting I wanted to invite him for a nice meal of Pointsettia Bushes, but I was too shy.

2008-12-01T10:12:00.002-05:00

"After I lost my bid for the Colorado Senate I consoled myself by eating a couple forests," said Stegosaurus. "Then I walked to Cuba to practice ballet at the Stegosaurus School of Dance, which was the dance of the month in November. I'm practicing for my gig as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker at New York's Radio City Music Hall in December.

I've also been helping the Cubans rebuild after Hurricane Paloma. The damage to the Stegosaurus School of Dance was minimal; I've done more damage to the School inadvertently while dancing the lindy hop, so we were lucky there. The Cubans are resilient and brave people.

Please be sure to come to New York in December and see me ballet! There are two performances:

December 13th 7:30pm; and December 14th 2:00pm.

As always, being practical I accept payment in trees.

2008-11-09T11:44:00.001-05:00

From Havana, Cuba today Stegosaurus held a press confrence to express his profound sorrow at the extinction of his friend Michael Crichton.

"This is shocking news to me, a very sudden loss," said Stegosaurus "...The extinction of Michael Crichton is a loss to his family and friends, all of us who knew and loved him. I enjoyed working with him and Mr. Speilberg on Jurassic Park II, the movie and appearing in the first, original novel as well. Mr. Crichton will be deeply and sincerely missed by all of us. "

2008-11-08T18:46:00.000-05:00

A Congresssaurus Stegosaurus Press Confrence November 4th, 2008.

9:09pm, MST, Denver, Colorado

"Thank you my friends and supporters. My name is Stegosaurus, and I am coming before you to night to concede regretfully that I will not be your representative in Congress as the 111th session opens. My worthy opponet, Mr. Ken Salazar has handily won the day, and I congratulate him, his campaign and his supporters. I urge you to support him and consider him a friend as he works for all of us who love the state of Colorado.

Right now my future involves retiring to my garden and becoming a farmer scientist," said Stegosaurus. " I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office.

I would sincerely hope that the issues I have raised in this campaign wil not be forgotten. If you have something you believe in, get involved with your representative. Get to know Mr. Salazar and make it happen. Giant leaps start with one step.

I should like to thank all of my supporters, those who contributed to my campaign financially and otherwise. Celebrity endorsements from Stephen Spielberg, Jane Fonda, Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and the late Issac Hayes.

I would like to thank Denny Klein, the inventor of HHO Technology, which will be the future of transportation in America, saving our environment as well as man and dinosaur alike.

I would like to thank my campaign manager Mary Katherine, who kept my finances straight and made sure I didn't eat everything in my campaign chest.

I want to thank my brother Triceratops, and my friend Hadrosaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Someday we may still work together.

Last of all, I want to thank you, my friends and supporters, grown ups and children who believed in my vision for a better Colorado.

To anyone else I've forgotten, I appreciate you too.. I hope I haven't but you know I have a brain the size of a walnut so please forgive me.

Thank you and good night. "

2008-11-04T08:16:00.000-05:00

"I went to the polling place to cast my vote for Eugene Victor Debs," said Stegosaurus.

"I was surprised when I got there and discovered that he wasn't on the ballot! It must be a slight against working man and working dinosaur alike!!

I was so upset I was going to stomp on Fishburn Elementary forthrightly, but then the suddenly distressed Election Official pointed out some ferns. I love eating ferns."

2008-11-03T21:36:00.001-05:00

Prehistoric Aged Reptile Found Breeding

2008-10-27T08:56:00.003-04:00

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 10/26/2008

Andrea Seabrook: It's time again to talk with NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, and catch up on the week's events. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning Andrea.

AS: Election Day is almost here, and everyone's talking about the Presidential Election. But let us turn to the Colorado Senate race. Stegosaurus' popularity has been at an all time high, and he seemed unstoppable until recently. Some damaging information has come to light. Can you elaborate?

DS: Yes, well it is unfortunate, but it seems that a pornographic movie from more than a year ago has been released starring Stegosaurus, and this seems to have severely hurt his standing with his party and the public. In August, 2007, on a visit to California, Stegosaurus visited with his friend Hugh Hefner, and it seems the Playboy magnate bankrolled this venture.

AS: Yes it seems to have hurt his standing with the ever important voting bloc known as the soccer moms. Let's listen to this clip of a Mrs. Stephanie Marie Ellis, soccer mom of Boulder.

Stephanie Marie Ellis: "Oh, its just terrible, terrible. I had put so much trust in Stegosaurus! He cares about alternative fuel sources and the environment, he loves children, and has a workable solution for the economic challenges facing Colorado and the entire Nation today. I was willing to look past his tree consumption, even.

But, but I can't tolerate the idea of him participating in such filth as a pornographic movie!

How immoral! We should expect more of our leaders. He should have known better ! What about the children who look up to him? What example does that send, I ask you? What !?!

Hugh Hefner bankrolled the film, and he's lived well, like a king with six unmarried women! Unmarried! Oh the humanity!

No wonder Sid and Marty Krofft didn't want Stegosaurus on Land of the Lost! They must have known! And to think I pitied that prehistoric pervert! I'm so ashamed!!"

AS: Wow, she seems upset, Dan. Do you think there is anything Stegosaurus can do to salvage his campaign?

DS: It's going to be tough for Stegosaurus to overcome this. His advisors will have to be on alert damage control. In the next few days we'll have to see if Stegosaurus, like Bill Clinton, is a comeback kid, or a fallen idol, the next Gary Hart.

AS: Who once represented Colorado.

DS: Yes, he did.

When the film came to light, Stegosaurus' polling numbers took quite a tumble. While he's fallen sharply in the polls, his opponent Ken Salazar has been wise in not even mentioning Stegosaurus in his speeches and sticking to his own platform. He may return to the senate after all. We shall have to wait and see.

AS: Yes, it will be interesting. Thank you, Dan. That's Daniel Schorr, senior news analyst, who joins us every week with his insight into the days' news.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.

2008-10-11T10:29:00.001-04:00

On Sunday, October 5th, Stegosaurus held a press confrence to express his opinion of the recent economic situation and particularly of the recent bailout bill passed by the US Congress. Let's listen in...

Stegosaurus: Thank you. Next question, please. Mr. Mattioni, WVTF News.

Rick Mattioni: Yes, Mr. Stegosaurus. It is known that your opponet in the 2008 senate race, Mr. Ken Salazar backed, both times the recent bailout bill that assisted banking interests, but you opposed it. Why?

Stegosaurus: If I were in the Senate, I would not have voted for this bill, and I will tell you why. It seemed very simple to me. Not only was an unconstitutional bill rammed through Congress with very little debate, it was also something which will only be at best a temporary fix.... and will in the long term make things worse.

The bill was unconstitutional because no where in our laws is it allowed to use taxpayer dollars to aid special interest groups.

For example, The top CEOs of Lehman Brothers were making 173 million dollars a year. Now they have made mistakes by overspeculation and malinvestment, and should take responsibility for their incompetence regarding pecuniary matters. It is unreasonable and unconcionable that the taxpayer of America should be responsible for getting wreckless multimillionaires out of holes that they dug themselves into without thinking of the consequences.

Furthermore, the portion of the bill regarding taxes was written by the Senate and then returned to the House. This is unconstitutional, as all tax appopriations must begin in the House of Representatives, according to the law.

Plus the bailout will, as I have stated earlier, if it works at all only bring temporary confidence to American and foreign investors.

It is another effort in a long line of similar efforts by the shady characters at the Federal Reserve Bank to prop up a failing fiat currency which is only going to be devalued further in the longrun, increasing debt to our foreign investors.

The Federal Reserve continues engage in legal counterfeit, printing money out of nothing, increasing the supply of dollars. This, as should be obvious to understand, devalues what already was available, because so much is on the market. In time, it is a very real possibility that our foreign investors will stop taking our dollars, and then we'll be in trouble, because we owe in the trillions.

This bailout bill puts the burden of debt on the children of America and future generations yet unborn. It lowers the standard of living and increases the gap between rich and poor. It puts further strain on a middle class already crushed under the debt of other poor decisions made by the banking interests of the Country, taxing them not through tax laws written into the books, but through the silent tax which is a result of this increase in fiat currency: Hyperinflation. Hyperinflation is, as we know, what raises the cost of goods and services.

Now, what do I mean by fiat currency? fiat currency is something which is declared valuable by Government edict, but not backed by a commodity such as gold or silver. The US dollar became a fiat currency under the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration ( first term ), after May of 1933. The value of money was still set by gold, ( under the Bretton Woods Agreements, after World War II, ) but it was illegal for Americans to convert their dollars into gold.
The US dollar was removed entirely off the gold standard by Richard M. Nixon on August 15th, 1971, as a result of financial difficulties caused by the War in Vietnam. Since 1971, the US dollar has not been backed by anything of value, only the word of the Government.

Now, why do I think this bill is an ineffectual, bad piece of legislation? Because we have tried this before, and it does not work. We have historical precedence.

Let us look at the situation in the 1920's prior to the Great Depression, and the poor decisions that led to that difficult time in American History. The same mistakes were made then, which are being made now.

For example, the economic situation today, the fluctuations in the market seem to be very similar. We have recently experienced situations akin to June and December of 1928, and March and May of 1929.

As in those years, the President, and pro Federalist editorial writers try and reassure us that the fundamental bedrock of our economy will weather the storm; "It takes time for these things to work.", they say. But what did not work then will not magically work now. Why people can't see this is a mystery to me. Fed Chairman Bernanke on September 22nd told members of the Financial Services Committee that he agreed price fixing did not work in the 1930's. He said, "I actually agree with you that price fixing did not work in the 1930's," yet three days later he and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, ( as well as the President ), are off touting the bailout bill as something that needs to be done.

Here is some advice from somebody with a brain the size of a walnut: Memo to the Administration AND Congress. Stop acting like someone with a brain the size of a walnut.

If you do not let the market adjust you will throw a one, two year recession into an extended DEPRESSION... just like we did in the 1930's. Propping up prices and cutting rates is only making things worse. Prices NEED to drop, and the artificial bubble will deflate eventually. Delaying the inevitable will only make things harder and weaken our currency, which is already in a precarious state, and has been for some time.

I recommend a return to commodity backed currency, in gold, or silver, or trees.

My further recommendation is to enact regulation and oversight over the Federal Reserve Bank and also the President's Working Group on Financial Markets. These people are the root cause of our problems today.

I can tell that we are in for some tough times ahead. I don't know about you, but I am going to start saving my ferns and rosebushes for the future, not to mention more trees.

Thank you, for taking the time to attend my press conference today

FACTS OF INTEREST:

Courtesy of Matthew Collins and the Center for Responsive Politics:

LIST OF LOBBYISTS WHO BOUGHT THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES:

Top 10 Corporate PAC Contributors:

Obama:

Goldman Sachs $739,521

UBS AG $419,550

Lehman Brothers $391,774

Citigroup Inc $492,548

Morgan Stanley $341,380

Latham & Watkins $328,879

Google Inc $487,355

JPMorgan Chase & Co $475,112

Sidley Austin LLP $370,916

Skadden, Arps et al $360,409

McCain:

Merrill Lynch $349,170

Citigroup Inc $287,801

Morgan Stanley $249,377

Wachovia Corp $147,456

Goldman Sachs $220,045

Lehman Brothers $115,707

Bear Stearns $108,000

JPMorgan Chase & Co $206,392

Bank of America $133,975

Credit Suisse Group $175,503

Sources: Rep. Dr. Ron Paul ( R) 14th TX : Speech "The End of Dollar Hegemony" February 15, 2006

The Center For Responsive Politics

Only Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 1st printing Perennial Classics, 2000 )

Since Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 7th printing Bantam Matrix, 1965 )

Other Useful links may be found here: The Bailout Reader: Ludwig Von Mises Institute

2008-10-07T21:30:00.005-04:00

In a press conference held Sunday, October 5th, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus announced his endorsement of Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008.

"I understand President Wilson let him out of prison recently," said Stegosaurus.
"I feel that the odds of Mr. Debs being successful this year are very, very good. Debs is my man, because he cares about the little guy, and I care about the little guy too.

Don't think that because I am big, I don't think about the plight of all the hard working mammals in America. I do. That is why I support Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008. "

2008-09-22T22:41:00.002-04:00

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 9/21/2008

Andrea Seabrook: We are here to discuss the week's political events with NPR's senior News Analyst Daniel Schorr. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning, Andrea.

AS: Okay let's talk about the Stegosaurus phenomenon in Colorado. What seemed like an odd third party style fluke months ago has really taken off, and Senator Salazar is really challenged at this point. What do you think has made Stegosaurus so successful?

DS: Yes, Andrea this is a surprise. Stegosaurus has overcome the ridicule of the people who didn't take his canadacy seriously at the start. He's jumped the hurdles of some early mistakes in his campaign to capture a great cross section of Colorado's voting public. It's a particularly important voting bloc too, which is the fabled Soccer Moms. It might be the Soccer Moms' children having an influence, most likely. Maybe the novelty of a senator with a cool, spiky tail and spiff, sexy plates.

AS: Wow, and months ago we thought all he'd get was one per cent or less, and Ken Salazar would breeze easily back into the Senate. What did Stegosaurus do to endear himself to the Soccer Moms of Colorado?

DS: Well, I think it was when he decided to start saving trees instead of eating them. Stegosaurus went on a diet recently and has only eaten low fat pteridophytes for months, and a lot of trees have been saved. This repairs his reputation wth the base of his party, the Greens, and connects with the environmentally aware, socially concious Soccer Moms of Colorado. I understand Stegosaurus has lost half a ton. It's impressive.

AS: I remember we thought he was doomed early on in his campaign when he was photographed undertaking a clear cutting operation. What can Ken Salazar do? He seems to have an exemplary environmental record, and seniority. There has to be something else to the popularity of Stegosaurus. What can Salazar do ? Anything at this point?

DS: It is to Salazar's credit that he hasn't turned to mudslinging. We're seeing less negative attacks than we used to in the campaign for President this cycle, so perhaps politics has finally learned something: Negative attacks don't work like they used to, and being blatantly negative could be the nail in Salazar's political career if he's not careful. What he can do, I think, is Salazar can stick to his record, and point out his strengths... sticking to his own message could expose Stegosaurus' inexperience without being completely negative.

That is the path I think Salazar needs to take.

AS: Yet it could be that Stegosaurus will pull off a surprise and win. He could be the next Jesse Ventura.

DS: Yes, he might, Andrea. We'll have to wait and see.

AS: It will be quite interesting to see how it plays out in Colorado. Thanks, Dan. Always good to talk to you.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.

AS:NPR's senior news analyst, Daniel Schorr, with insight on the week's political events.

2008-08-23T11:22:00.000-04:00

Stegosaurus held a press confrence earlier this week to express his profound sorrow at the extinction of his good friend Issac Hayes.

"Why it was barely a year ago I was in California and he helped to teach me some funky dance steps," said Stegosaurus. "I learned how to be cool from him, and he learned how to be cool from me. He was a good friend to me and will be missed terribly. "

"There is good news in other topics though," said Stegosaurus as he responded to a question.

"My diet is going very well. I've lost half a ton, with half a ton to go. My secret ? I think its those low fat Pteridophytes."

2008-08-19T18:25:00.002-04:00

(click on the picture to see a larger image)

2008-08-02T08:34:00.002-04:00

(click on the picture to see a larger image)

Stegosaurus recognizes that these are tough economic times. Use your Stegosaurus School of Dance coupon today!

2008-07-26T08:14:00.001-04:00

One thing I have noticed since I started running for the Senate is that a lot of people care about what you think. I've been interviewed a lot since I declared my canadacy so its a good thing that I really enjoy being interviewed.

1. What started the Stegosaurus?

Well, I am told that my mother found me one day while she was eating a cabbage patch, but I never believed that.... I know how it works. A mommy Stegosaurus meets a daddy Stegosaurus and they like each other very much. Then, they get together and they wiggle a little bit. I know that's hard to believe; but that's the way it has happened for over 140 million years.

2. What are your hobbies?

Dancing the lindy hop, eating plants and roots, running for the senate, and world travel.
I also like sky diving, birdwatching, and gardening. I have diverse interests for someone with a brain the size of a walnut.

3. What are your favorite songs to sing and why don't you do it more?

Oh, I sing quite often, actually. Do you have a copy of my multi platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera? I am particularly fond of Italian Opera. I like to sing Una Furtiva Lagrima and dedicate it to Marilyn Maxwell. When I get together with my cousins Kentrosaurus and Lexovissaurus we like to sing Brindisi Libiamo, libiamo, ne' lieti calici. Of course, Lexovissaurus is French, so while in France I sing a lot of French opera as well. I am also particular to Showtunes, and the Jazz of my native country.

4. Where are you from and where have you been?

I am from Colorado, USA, originally. I've travelled many places and been all over, but travel was a lot easier when there was only one continent.

5. Where are you going?

Hopefully in November to the US Senate ! Then I will join my brother Triceratops and my friend Parasauralophus in the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Together, we will work to better the lives of the people of Colorado and the entire United States. One of our primary objectives will be to try and convince the State of Arizona that it is time for them to stop procrastinating and choose a State Dinosaur.

2008-07-06T17:42:00.002-04:00

I have recently been interviewed, and I love being interviewed. Here's the first of my two most recent interviews. It is always good for congressional candidates to stay in touch with their constituents, and I will do the best that I can to answer honestly.

1. Being that you're supposed to be dead and extinct... how do you really feel about all these plush homages to your image?
The likeness is reasonably accurate, though sometimes the colours are off. One thing's for sure they are definitely not to scale!

2. Do you really feel that your decaying corpse and ensuing conversion process is really worth me having to pay over $4/gallon?
Of course not ! Fossil Fuel is murder and extinction! As you know, I have held a press confrence supporting Mr. Denny Klein's HHO Technology. Save a dinosaur and walk. It's good for your cardiovascular system.

3. What was your personal hero?
My father, O.C. Marsh.

4. Do the Geico commercials give a true representation of the humans you were used to?
I do not understand this question; I only watch television when I am on it, or when Marilyn Maxwell movies are being shown.

5. Would you rather be able to breathe fire, eat meat, or fly?
I love birdwatching so much that I wish I could turn into a bird and fly away. But, that will probably never happen. Someday I'd like to go skydiving with my friend Ludwig Gantner.
Edgar Rice Burroughs let me glide in his novel, The Land That Time Forgot using my spiff sexy plates, but that is not really their function. I have no desire to eat meat, nor are my teeth
designed to consume it. I have had cameos in movies where dinosaurs breathe fire, and Sid and Marty Krofft let my friend Dimetrodon breathe fire in their show
Land of the Lost, but the ability to breathe fire seems to me to serve no useful purpose.

Incidentially, regarding Land of the Lost, I lobbied heavily to appear on that show, I went directly to Sid and Marty Krofft and represented myself. I told them I'd be perfect, that small children everywhere love me for some reason. They let my friend Brontosaurus on the show, before he had a midlife crisis and changed his name to Apatosaurus, They let my brothers Triceratops and Allosaurus on the show, but not me. No amount of begging and pleading would move their cold, cold hearts.

2008-06-21T10:02:00.002-04:00

And now, a word from everyone's favorite cheese eating surrender - dinosaur, Lexovissaurus!
******************************

C'est moi, Lexovissaurus, et je suis ici pour passer en revue pour toi un travail symphonique par le compositeur américain Steven E. Brown. Ce travail s'appelle la « merveille d'O », et il est convenablement appelé, parce que c'est un morceau merveilleux et très plaisant à l'oreille.

Les trompettes à l'ouverture même sont réminiscences de la saison des amours d'un Apatosaurus. Je suis tout stupéfié que Mr. Brown à employer le son de la trompette pour imiter un bruit qui est si normal et très exquis.

En environ une minute, nous entendons quelques cordes très magnifiques, qui servent de musique très plaisante pour le dîner. C'est parfait pour un repas de conifères et de fromage.

À presque 3 minutes, l'interprétation symphonique remarquable de l'Apatosaurus joignant à une reprise, et à environ 3:47, l'orchestre peint une image réminiscence de l'ouest Nord-Américain, la terre natale de mon cousin Stegosaurus. Tout a fait expansible et stupéfiant. Personnellement, j'ai pensé que cette section était parfaite pour écouter, pendant que j'aiguille ma queue en épi, que je fais chaque matin avant mon petit déjeuner de rosiers et du fromage.

Les instruments de vent une fois utilisés sont utilisés très habilement. Je souhaite qu'ils aient été plus répandus. Il est clair à la fin que le morceau a été apprécié par les participants du concert. Personne n'a toussé, quelle merveille. Si je portais des chapeaux, je dirais, " chapeaux à tous messieurs, voici un génie, " mais moi je suis un Stegosaurid, et Stegosaurids ne portent pas des chapeaux.

Je suis ainsi enamouré par Mr Brown. Quelle compétence, je voudrais l'invité, lui et sa famille à dîner avec moi la prochaine fois qu'ils visitent la France. Je préparerai un dîner de cœur d'artichaut et des aubergines avec du fromage, de mon propre jardin personnel. Oui, j'apprécie ce merveilleux travail que la « merveille d'O » est, il serait encore meilleure s'il étaient français. C'est pourquoi que d'espère que Mr. Brown visitera et appréciera la France tellement qu'il voudra vivre ici et être mon compositeur personnel. S'il était d'accord je lui préparerais de la nourriture de mon jardin chaque jour avec du fromage.

2008-06-15T20:03:00.002-04:00

Expert Village: How To Make A Balloon Stegosaurus : You Tube Video Behind This Link!

"Now for a Stegosaurus ... a cool dinosaur. This is going to be similar to the horse, we're just going to change a few things."

( embedding is extinct for this video )

2008-06-03T22:36:00.000-04:00

My 140 million and 2nd birthday was June 1st, and do I feel great ! I don't feel a day over 17! What is funny is that people have been telling me that I actually look 17!! After all these years.....

A birthday party was held for me at the studios of WVTF public radio, where I recorded my double platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera.

My cake was not as good as ferns in the early morning, but it had some nice flowers. The key to living a long time is to stay active, and I have been active for 140 million and two years. I'm a prime example of the health benefits of eating trees.

After a grand celebration I took a nice walk out to California where I was pleased to be honored with a lifetime achievement award granted by the Motion Picture Academy of Arts & Sciences. It was given to me to acknowledge my 140 million and two years success in playing extinct. How nice of them to notice me. I always try to be inconspicuous, but that's really hard when you're 9 feet tall and 30 feet long.

I was disappointed that Marilyn Maxwell had not yet returned from her USO tour; my dream is to someday actually meet her, but until then, as she says, It Doesn't Cost A Dime To Dream!

I was also very pleased to meet with my friends Issac Hayes and Stephen Spielberg, both of whom endrosed my run for the Colorado senate.

I also visited my friend Tony Bennett in San Francisco, who is still looking for his heart. I hope he finds it soon.

Yes, life has been absolutely delightful for 140 million and two years! I wonder what the next 140 million and two will bring?

2008-05-19T23:22:00.003-04:00

National Public Radio, Sunday, May 18th. 2008. "Morning Edition":

Andrea Seabrook: We turn now to our senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, with some insight on the senate race in Colorado. What do you think, Dan, of the rise of Congressional candidate Stegosaurus?"

Daniel Schorr: Well, Andrea, Its amazing because he started off on such a bad foot, er, claw. He was really down in the polls, and it was more than his penchant for eating trees that was hurting him.

AS: Yes, the popular insult is for at least a senior Senator to be referred to as a dinosaur, and of course Stegosaurus is one.

DS: He is indeed. He is the epitome of big government, and has expressed some big government ideas, when he isn't too hungry and eats the paper they've been written on. As has been noted, Stegosaurus has a love of eating trees which makes him unpopular with the environmental wing of the Green Socialist Party. but his recent embrace of the alternative fuel HHO, invented by Denny Klein has given him a boost that really puts his candidacy in contention.

AS: It seems contradictory, but that's usual for a politician I think.

DS: It is this honesty, Andrea, I agree, that is connecting with the voters.

AS: Plus Stegosaurus is pulling in a lot of celebrity endorsements, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and Jane Fonda.

DS: Yes, they are acting like small children! If small children could vote, the election would already be over. A guaranteed landslide for Stegosaurus. There are already some people looking at ways that the Senate Chamber of the Capitol building can be expanded to accomodate him.

AS: Wow, well, what do you think Ken Salazar can do to stand a chance in the election??

DS: Well, he needs to stick to his message, and his record. Ken Salazar is a very popular senator and he could well pull ahead of Stegosaurus before the election even happens. He has a record to stand on. All Stegosaurus has is some spiff plates and a cool spiky tail.

AS: All right. That's NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, who joins us for analysis of the days' events. Thanks, Dan!

DS:Thank you, Andrea.

2008-04-29T21:32:00.001-04:00

" I have been in Colorado lately shaking claws for my senate campaign, and the campaign is going very well. Picking up lots of momentum. But, I am very sad today. I did something I wish I didn't do, and I am very sad." said Stegosaurus.

"I had been corresponding for the last several months with a fellow from Kansas named The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He seemed like such a nice guy. Finally this afternoon, we agreed to meet for lunch. He travelled all the way from Kansas to Colorado at great expense. We hit it off really well at first, but you know my appetite .... HE was lunch.

Well, I didn't mean to, but I ate him.... all of him... except the part of him that was made out of meat-balls, I tried them but they didn't taste good. Overall he was delicious, but rather starchy and bad for my diet. Now I am so sad because he was such a good friend to me and he's gone forever.

*sigh*

2008-04-19T10:26:00.000-04:00

Today Stegosaurus announces the release of his widely heralded and long awaited excercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus.

"About a month ago I realized that I had gained some weight," said Stegosaurus. "I guess I had done too well on 2007's New Years' Resolution, because I'm about one ton overweight. I'd like to lose about one ton.

To help myself and others in my situation I have recorded an exercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus, which is especially designed for those of us with cool spiky tails.

I'm not leaving the mammals out, I want to assure you. This video will benefit everyone regardless of species. It's just that there will be a special focus on healthy cool spiky tails. "

2008-03-23T09:19:00.000-04:00

Stegosaurus announces a new friend, and scientific discoveries:

A Norwegian pliosaur

An update on the mummified Hadrosaur

Utah crater mystery solved !!

2008-03-23T09:11:00.000-04:00

Stegosaurus encourages you to make the most of your produce !

2008-03-16T10:15:00.000-04:00

"I'm visiting Africa at the request of my cousin Kentrosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"His friend Nigersaurus wants some advice on landscaping and gardening because he wants to help feed his starving countrymen, even the mammals. I brought him an autographed copy of my New York Times best seller Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus. There is a little bit of difficulty since while Nigersaurus has a cool tail which is even longer than mine, it is not spiky. Because of that its harder for him to plow, but we'll find a way to work around that. He does have an advantage in harvesting that I do not with a shovel-shaped head and rows of rotating teeth.

I've just arrived yesterday, and all three of us are looking to have a great time planting gardens and eating them too. I like helping my fellow dinosaurs.

2008-02-16T12:16:00.005-05:00

Congresssaurus Stegosaurus has been In Boulder, Colorado since February 1st shaking claws and looking for votes. He held a press confrence today to announce his backing for Denny Klein's HHO technology.

In a prepared statement with Mr. Klein standing beside him, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus said,

"I believe in the investement of alternative fuels, because even with a brain the size of a walnut I know that fossil fuel means extinction ! Not only extinction for dinosaurs, but extinction for the homo sapiens who fight for it in wars.

When it all comes down to it, I think a lot of money and lives could be saved if people just walked everywhere like I do. But, I understand that homo sapiens love their cars, and a good Congresssaurus represents all the people, not just his fellow dinosaurs. Therefore I pledge that if you elect me as your Congresssaurus I will work on a State Environmental Committee which will push for the fiduciary resources to invest large amounts of Federal money into this alternative fuel system.

Remember : fossil fuel is extinction ! Please vote Stegosaurus 2008 !"

A great cheer rose from the gathered populace.

Then, Mr. Klein spoke : " I enthusiastically look forward to expanding the use and knowledge of my HHO technology to the US and the rest of the world. With the influential backing of candidate Congresssaurus Stegosaurus I am sure we can save the lives of American soldiers and dinosaurs alike. Thank you. "

Hydrogen Technology Applications Incorporated

2008-02-15T23:53:00.000-05:00

Stegosaurus announces the discovery of new friends ! :

Nemicolopterus

A pterosaur

Eocarchia and Kryptops

abelisaurids

Velafrons coahuilensis

A hadrosaur

2008-01-27T17:20:00.000-05:00

After more than a year of extensive research in the field, the following 8 points of similarity between Stegosaurus and equus caballus, ( the horse ) have been observed.

1. Stegosaurus is a herbivore, horses are herbivores.
2. Stegosaurus is quadropedal, horses are quadropedal.
3. Stegosaurids can stand on their hind legs for brief periods of time;
horses can stand on their hind legs for brief periods of time.
4. Stegosaurus has a tail; horses have tails.
5. Stegosaurus' head is the same size as a horse's head.
6. O.C. Marsh, who discovered Stegosaurus, also discovered several
varieties of prehistoric horse... including the Hyracotherium.
7. Stegosaurus is a herd animal; horses are also herd animals.
8. Stegosaurus is beautiful when grazing; horses are beautiful when grazing.

2008-01-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

From now thru February 15th,Square Dance lessons ( the official dance of Colorado ) are half off at any and all locations of the Stegosaurus School of Dance !

Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.

2008-01-15T21:38:00.000-05:00

Insect Attack May Have Finished Off Dinosaurs

2007-12-25T16:58:00.000-05:00

C'est le Noël de Lexovissaurus ! !

Bonjour, mon nom est Lexovissaurus ! !

Mes cousins Stegosaurus et Kentrosaurus sont venu en France pour me rende visite pour les vacances de Noël.

Je suis heureux d'avoir des invités pour les vacances, parce que j'excelle au divertissement.

Ma maison est décorée pour la saison, et je laisse Kentrosaurus mettre vers le haut, sa paume à huile avec des cloches, qui est une tradition dans son pays.
J'ai également permis à Stegosaurus de décorer ma maison avec des images de Stegosaurus Claus.

Nous sommes tous tentés à manger l'arbre de Kentrosaurus avant la fin des vacances.

Mais à la place j'ai préparé un repas savoureux pour nous . Voici le menu:

Apéritif de Ratatouille avec de petits pâtés en croûte sages végétariens, et pomme glacée carottes.

Quiche d'épinards et d'oignon comme plat principal

Tartelette pour le dessert.

Quand nous avions tous suffisamment mangé, nous avons tous décider d'aller caroling à la
campagne. J'ai choisi toutes les meilleures hymnes de louange que vous voyez.
Naturellement ils sont françaises.

O viens O viens Emmanuel

Ding Dong Joyeux Noël

Le premier Noël

Sainte Nuit

Chantons Noël

Il est né le Divine Enfant

Les Anges dans nos campagnes

Petit Papa Noël

Nous étions fatigués de chanter, mais Stegosaurus voulais que nous chantions son
hymne de louange séculaire préférée des Etats-Unis, "Les cloches d’argent''.
J'ai consenti, parce qu'il est mon cousin et je l'aime, et que je veux
que Stegosaurus Claus me laisse des cadeaux la veille de Noël.
Kentrosaurus et moi ce souci au sujet qu’il est encore amouraché des l'actrices Américaines.

Mais nous sommes d'accord que la question ne sera pas discutée pendant les vacances.

La veille de Noël, nous voulons tout les trois assister à la messe de minuit et à une mystérieuse pièce de théâtre, avant de revenir à la maison pour se reposer douillettement dans nos lits et rêver aux arbres!!!!!, en attendant la visite de Stegosaurus Claus.

J'espère que tout ceux qui liront cette lettre auront de Joyeuses Vacances.

Lexovissaurus, Kentrosaurus et Stegosaurus, vous souhaite Joyeux Noël ! !